Welcome to Wiz’s “Broke Back Fountain” of knowledge. As a few of you are aware I recently fractured my back in a freak accident. This has provided me a ton of time on my hands, and therefor an opportunity to through words together for your reading benefit. The purpose of this thread is to pass on my knowledge to all of you. Don’t know what that knowledge will be, and it will come at random times during my long run on sentences that could turn you away before you even begin diving into the concept of satirical postings. Take 1: (Called it “take” because I decided to pretend that I am recording myself) I have noticed a trend recently here in the AHL that has become an annoying norm. Teams have a tendency to collect names instead of talent. Take for instance @Oakey . Who in their right fucking mind thought it was a good idea to throw a new Goalie straight into the A before some of the veterans who fell through to the C. I get that he might have played well in some club games, and that he is a friendly guy and all… but seriously. How does something like this happen, I mean I have played a few games with the guy and there is only one thing I can say that will be good about making him play net. Guess what Oakey? You cant just rage quit when your costing now – sorry. Set 2: (Called it set two because this might be a comedy show? Idk…) Why is it that week 1 always starts out so nice? Everyone is “happy” to be together, “Proud” to be a member of the team, willing to sniff each others farts just to make sure the “best” lineups are put together. But, then week 2 hits. At this point the seasoned toxic vets are chomping at the bit to ruin anything they get close to. I mean they were bid on heavy by 4 different dumbass GM’s so they should be able to play where ever they want right? Anyways I digress, its not like we have all seen this before. I mean take for example some of the mostest most toxicic players to ever grace us with their presence. @C4NADA ( this guy would literally burn down his own family home to get traded to where he wants to play. Then torch that shit too) HOW DOES HE KEEP GETTING BIDS? HES WON FUCKING NOTHING!. I don’t know – the Percocet’s are running through my typing fingers so if this has offended you oh well. If you liked it that’s cool, if you read it and didn’t give at least a reaction one way or the other (fuck you!) ~Wiz Out “Mic Drop”
As a 4x $7,500,000+ player in the LGNHL, I think I can shed some light on issue 2 here. Week 1: OK, well this team looks like vomit on the side of a dumpster, but I'll try and give them a chance. I don't know everyone, so there are probably some hidden gems. Week 2: Bro, wtf were these guys thinking bidding on half these guys. We have no offense, our goalies are trash, and I have to carry a RD every game?! Dude, there's AT LEAST 3 other teams that would want me according to the bids GET ME OUTTA HERE. Also, I'm not toxic. You can ask my friends. They always say I'm a really nice guy and not toxic. In fact, they say I'm the least toxic, on occasion.
