Savage Spotlight, THE WEST

Memphis Grizzlies (24-6)

This isn’t a secret. D Andoo was able to get the squad he wanted minus Kobsos, which granted him instant chemistry. Combine one of the most dangerous PGs the league has seen with chemistry….oh and a replacement for Kobs in the way of the best Lock the league has seen in Wall….yikes. We all saw this coming. What we didn’t see coming was the evolution of D Andoo, and boy is it scary. Dando has not been putting up the numbers we’ve become accustomed too, becoming more of a distributer this season. That’s not to say he doesn’t still score, hitting week 6 with an average stat line of 21-2-8-3 while shooting 65 percent from the field. The scary part is when things are not going the way the Grizz want, and D Andoo becomes….well, D Andoo. I have a strong feeling Playoff D Andoo is a whole different beast.


Team Strength – D Andoo, Wall, Chemistry

Team Weakness – Minichud Mason – An exploitable weakness on any line, explaining one of D Andoo and Walls only losses on the season to the Wolves in week one and sporting a hot 7-8 record. Chud is an expert on everyone's weaknesses because he’s the pinnacle of weaknesses. “Check that man’s tendencies!”

Unsung Hero – Sam FN Stacks – His numbers aren’t eye popping, but they are solid enough for a center in a 5 out offense. What jumps out at you is the 5.4 assists per game and the 11-3 record. Now we all know this is due to outlet passes, but…someones gotta throw em.​

New Orleans Pelicans (22-8)

Say what you want, but the only thing that separates these Pelicans from the Grizz was a slow start due to early chemistry issues. This was to be expected with Venom bringing in some Rivet City Ballers to play the real version of basketball, but they have figured it out. Add on top of that what I consider to be a much stronger second line than the 1st seed Grizzlies and there is plenty of debate here for who the team to watch in the West is. Venom, as always, is putting up MVP numbers and he’s surrounded by talent and superior badge counts that he is comfortable with, but the real story here is the second line. With a shocking bid on Sub Force - who gave Venom is first official heart break of his pubescent life - to run the second line at 4 mil + and another shocker bringing in Sniper at only a little over 3mil, they solidified the backcourt but were lost for front court. Enter SCOTTY BOY LAX. Talk about a glow up. This guy was a TC center at best last season. Luckily for him, Sub Force found out how to utilize him. I imagine it went something like “hey just run at the basket when I grunt, you don’t even have to press a button because this game will literally do all the work for you because PnR centers may be the meta but it literally takes close to zero skill to do this….oh and hold B a lot.” I digress. I am not biased. I am not biased. I am not biased. Anyways, Scotty truly melded this group together putting together monster numbers game in and game out….and hey. He’s actually a great fucking guy.

Team Strength – Venom, Second Line

Team Weakness – Maturity. When the going is bad, its very bad and everyone is on the verge of bailing mid game. Watch a stream.

Unsung Hero – Ching – Probably the most slept on player in the NBA, even more so than Corn. This guy patiently stands hash and watches his point guard dribble like a true gentleman, and turns and plays elite defense every night. If you need a bucket, he can get it. But they don’t usually need him to, so he falls by the wayside because of underusage. His communication on defense and IQ is at the highest level the league has to offer.​

Los Angeles Lakers

Lakers were looking like a lock for a bye in early season but that seems to be slipping away. They need a big week and two very bad weeks from the 1 and 2 seed to get the lock, but they are firmly in the playoffs either way. Returning cast members of Swaggy, Zero and Glympse have done exactly what they set out to do this season, which is presumably continue their winning tradition and not have a full team meltdown midway through. There isn’t much to be said about this team as they do exactly what we think they’re gonna do every week (except one) and no one really talks except for Zero. Zero is the most awkward upper level player in the league by far. If two people are talking shit, you can count on this guy to randomly jump in and kick whoever is down with a gif, or a “hey remember when I blocked your shot in 2k17, yeah that was cool” and then disappear for at least 4 days. I always feel like I’m watching The Office when he pops in….and I mean the British version….cringe….

Team Strength – Continuity, Defense

Team Weakness – Depth

Unsung Hero – Beta Zooms - A late add on for the Lakers, replacing the leagues self titled best Center for the past 4 seasons running (Spot) he has been playing very well and seems to have solidified their front court issues. Shooting 19/30 from 3, he has become the threat from outside they needed to open up the lanes for the guards. It was complicated when everyone just left Spot open and waited for a drive, eh.​

Minnesota Timberpups (15-15)

I am not biased. I am not biased. I am not biased. I am not biased. I am not biased. I am no -- These guys have the best cot damn center in the league.

Team Strength – Witt, 1st line chemistry

Team Weakness – Savage’s managerial skills. First he traded away what could have been the best second line in the league due to outside pressures, then he didn’t fix it for 4 weeks, then when it did get fixed it wasn’t even him to fix it, it was his GM because hes TOO OLD AND TIRED AND ANGRY.

Unsung Hero – Torched Xans. I fondly remember telling Xans to be extra super duper shitty and toxic before the season to keep his price down and I’m so glad I did. He has turned into one of the best forwards in the league, shooting 36/46 from 3 while being a pure slashing defensive build and also anchoring the defense as on ball lock. Yeah hes toxic, but his leaks are on par with platinum leaker Sniper. “Mithion Impothiblllleeeeee”
​

Phoenix Suns (12-18)

Its’ the same team that no one knows anything about from last year but they added Lag Shots at 8+ MILLION. I wonder if there was consideration that he would get kicked from the league? Surely there was. Surely. I don’t know anything about the Suns so I can’t even attempt to be informative here. I know Squid is a good guy. I know Hinkie trashed my second line. I know Lag Shots is gone for a long time.

Team Strength – Cool Jersey Schemes to Work with

Team Weakness – Character Judgement

Unsung Hero – ThankyouHinkie. I’ll be honest, I’m just assuming he’s the second line PG here. And as Bully once told me, “assuming sets your standards low”. (someone DM me if they know what the hell that means) If he is the second line point guard vs Squid on the first line, he’s kept this team afloat with a 9-6 record (compared to 3-10 for Squid) while averaging 17.7 points and 11.4 assists and shooting 66% from the field. You can do much worse on any line from your PG. In closing, Thank you Thank you Hinkie. You’re not the hero they deserved, but you’re the hero they needed.
​

Oklahoma City Thunder (10-20)

Poor Rise. He never wanted this. Most will say he deserved it, but I can attest to the fact that the guy just cares a lot about the league. Sometimes that leads to scummy things. It is what it is. For the most part, the guy has done his best to stay positive and actually work at making things better, which is a bit more than you can say for a lot of owners, even if they think they are trying to make it better. He had a pretty good bidding in my opinion, but maybe got a little too cute with the mixture of personalities. Enter Slime. It started well but seemingly only took one 9pm “workout with his cousin” to throw this train so far off track it derailed into the lake a county over. Slime might be the biggest waste of talent I’ve ever seen in a virtual format. If a Supermodel with a bag of cash asked Slime on a date, I’d bet he’d somehow end up with an empty bag and no shoes on the side of the road within 22 minutes. I digress. Somehow this shit show is still going to make the playoffs most likely, and for that I think Rise should be the leading candidate for MOTY. I don’t care if Rick got his championship team back together and backpacked them to another one, that’s just continuity. This league threw a can of garbage at Rise and he’s making Origami out of Arby’s wrappers.

Team Strength - A don’t quit mentality?

Team Weakness – A don’t quit mentality?

Unsung Hero – Just. Donnie. League dad, league mediator. Slimes mentor. He’s still mentoring him and hes on the Pacers FFS. Listen, I’ve known Donnie a long time. I’ve literally heard with my own ears this man threaten to end his own childs miserable life over an ice cream cone. But damnit he can father a 6’5 man child. Good on you Donnie. I should have never traded you. ☹​

Portland Trail Blazers (10-20)

But wait! These guys can also make the Playoffs! Defending Finals MVP Boy Meets World has led this team limping into a position to actually make the playoffs. I can’t tell you what the reason was, but they decided to dump their second line PG Rainman to count toothpicks in Toronto and finish the season with (insert name here cuz nobody knows!) running the second line. It’s not as if they didn’t get talent back, lining up BennyBuckets to solidify the front court and Keenan to do some defensive stuff. Is Mrs Tanaka also a woman? Do we have two women in the league? I got sidetracked. I guess these guys can limp into the playoffs if Rise doesn’t come up with something, but the way they finished last week it doesn’t seem likely. Not that I’d ever say that to Axe’s face in the mean streets of Rhode Island.

Team Strength - The Streets of Rhode Island, or as I like to call them, Streets of Rage. Get it. His name is Axe. Axel is the main character. Am I too old to reference pop culture?

Team Weakness – supporting cast around PGs throughout the season

Unsung Hero – EastxCoastxGoat. This guy just produces. Maybe not at elite levels, but hes a blue collar league member. He comes in, does his job, and then goes back to whatever he was doing. Being the greatest of all time on the East Coast probably. Having an offensive threat who good Defensive IQ is always a weapon, and he served well this season.


Jazz (4-26)

Look I could sit here and shit all over these guys but they don’t deserve it. Both owners are good guys doing this for the first time and were relatively easy to work with. Sometimes things don’t go your way, and then they snowball, and then you’re 4-26. It sucks, but I wouldn’t mind having these guys back as managers now that they have a season under their belt. Better luck next season gentleman, and props to you for finishing it out like men.


Team Strength – Management

Team Weakness – Bidding based on rec games

Unsung hero – I’m tired.




I know nothing about the East really. Ricks super good, Snypes super good and does awesome scummy trades, Vik and Mac fiend for trades harder than the meth heads in my TLE parking lot. Bulls are irrelevant. Uhm. Yeah. Someone in the east can write this one.

Good luck in the playoffs to anybody who makes it. Great season gentlemen!


​

 

western.png

 

hahaha this was awesome. mithion impothible!!!

 

Great job!

 

Lol good job great writeup

 

This post is deff GOATED