Future Considerations would like to take the time to congratulate everyone who made the playoffs and I will now point out areas in which our team was superior to every other without question. My ability to attempt a straight line and fail was unmatched all season and usually always led to my ass hitting the ice and the puck going the other way with the red light turning on. Boz's ability to spin pass anywhere and everywhere to the opposing team was unmatched to the point where even if Soccer had decided to play he would have been put to the shame. Kidding soccer your pass might actually have gotten to a teammate. Jay's ability to turn off his mic and leave the party in the middle of games was unmatched to prevent us from hearing him throw his stool across the room. Kidding nobody throws stools, it was probably a small child. Frichas ability to be Team MVP was unmatched, I mean fucking seriously the guy scored like 20 straight goals for us at one point, nothing bad to say about him. Dubs ability to carry us in the few games he played was unmatched, also I handled his god damn mail at work, Kyan Walker is really from Ohio don't believe otherwise. Also dubs fucking name is bud backwards. Coincidence? I think not. Buds ability to let numerous people play with his "box" during Pro series was unmatched. He also went to drop a buddy off at his house, came back, realized he left his phone at his house went back, attempted to come back again only to find out he ran out of gas, rescued a puppy from a flipped over car, fought off a landshark with his barehands, and deflected a tornado with one finger. All valid excuses on why he couldn't play Pro series over the course of the season. Polands ability to play every position but forward was unmatched for the majority of this season his goalie is also indisputably the best at getting rammered and having goals go through his nut-hole despite being completely in front of the puck. We also appreciated that 2 week stretch where he died. Zero Choices ability to not play was unmatched as while we were getting our assholes rimmed out and torn a new one early on in the season, he showed a resolve many of us did not have, and that was to say "Fuck it we suck" You have to appreciate the amount of heart he had to make that kind of decision. Ballzys ability to be ballzy was unmatched, whether it was the jokes that we unfortunately left open, the classic controls he uses, the amount of forward he plays on defense, he is the best. Also he is the best at lagging out mid play with 9 seconds left as a goalie to give up the tying goal. Last but in the context of this thread, aguably least *kidding love you AYOH* Frozen Ice Spear, his ability to try and play defense was unmatched, it was kind of like watching the fat kid run the relay but never see him stop despite him huffing and puffing his way around, you just couldn't help but laug... I mean cheer him on. But in all seriousness he filled in amicably on nights where Polands butthole was getting ramjobbed just way to much and he even went in the cage and won us some BFGS. I would also like to point out we are unmatched at having forwards on our roster play defense and goalie, and giving up tying goals with less than 5 minutes left. This was a just for fun thread I decided to make to show our "amazingness" I sincerely wish the pro series the best from here on and there should be some really good games coming soon. It should be interesting to watch who takes home the crown this season. Good luck gentlemen.
My highschool guidance councilor told me I'd never amount to anything. He might be right...but I bet he's never had 3 girls blow him at the same time
