Media Garis93's Post-Bidding/Pre-Roster Moves Music Power Rankings

Since a full write up takes eons for me to do, I'll try to simplify the rankings by songs and a short comment. Hope you enjoy my shitty music taste and sense of humor!!

Eastern Atlantic
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1. Providence Bruins

We're cancer free and we also didn't ask.




2. Hartford Wolfpack

Fourth is the next coming of Brandovedo. Always gives his organization the best chance of winning. Picking Hilly as his GM and some of the pick ups will give us headaches this season.




3. WBS Penguins

Surprised some of the guys don't want to be in their own division already.




4. Hershey Bears

Frostic is one of the most underrated managers in the AHL and has built a decent squad, just like The Cars are an underrated band.




5. Bridgeport Sound Tigers

Expect this team to hang in the division come crunch time.

 

Eastern Atlantic Part 2
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6. Springfield Thunderbirds

You're in one of the best divisions in the league and at crossroads on whether or not to step up or fade away into mediocrity.




7. Charlotte Checkers

Crosby isn't your savior, babygirl.




8. LHV Phantoms

Your team is the equivalent to this song. Next.

 

Eastern North
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1. Toronto Marlies

In a relatively weak division, LukeEmoWalker controls his own destiny.




2. Utica Coments

You guys are forward-heavy and your defense looks average.




3. Laval Rocket

Jumps knows what he's doing, hence the song selection.



4. Binghamton Devils

Almost the same team from two seasons ago on Springfield.

 

Eastern North
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5. Rochester Americans

Nothing to say besides, eh.



6. Syracuse Crunch

Your team is like a Strokes record now, mediocre to almost bad.




7. Belleville Sens

Your team looks like and most likely smells like ____.

 

Western Central
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1. Colorado Eagles

Core of the roster is back this season, all the same.




2. Grand Rapids Griffins

Tranny and Wonger are back and have one of the best Game 7 lineups in the AHL.




3. Chicago Wolves

A lot of question marks on the squad coming over from PSN, should be able to make playoffs easily though.



4. Iowa Wild

Song explains your roster, playoff bubble on the horizon.

 

Western Central
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5. Cleveland Monsters

Never going back to the playoffs again.




6. Milwaukee Admirals

You're gonna be on the golf course at seasons end.




7. Rockford Ice Hogs

Song is self explanatory.




8. Manitoba Moose

10+ on a player who's probably going to quit/be called up? Give your head a shake.

 

Western Pacific
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1. Stackton Heat 555

Fresh of their cup win, look for them to be serious contenders again.




2. San Diego Gulls

Solid team = playoffs. Hella good defense.




3. Tuscan Bread Runners

This team needs to make a move or two to go from pretender to contender.




4. San Antonio Rampage

Your team has Captain Ethics (blindzy), this is what you're getting.

 

Western Pacific
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5. Texas Stars

Once you're here, you're probably already traded.




6. Ontario Reign

I honestly don't know how they're going to do. Buck and Dudley need to step up to make this team contend for a low seed.




7. San Jose Barracuda

FIO.




8. Bakersfield Condors

Looking at your roster is almost as depressing as this song.

 

I feel violated by my team’s chosen music video.

 

Alternative tracks:

Providence Bruins

Pulling your strings justice is done.



Grand Rapid Griffins

No hard feelings @I Am Wonger



Utica Comets

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny



Milwaukee Admirals

Good luck dealing with him.

 

Great read... (clapping)

 

LVP will not be last I promise you that I won’t let it happen

 

I stopped reading at “Jumps knows what he’s doing”.