I thought I would time travel back to 2007, lets get this shit rollin. Here are my two personal favorites: chuck norris' first job was paperboy........there were no survivors Chuck Norris once declined to have a bridge named after him, because nobody crosses Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris can divide by 0 -Horses are hung like Chuck Norris -Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Unfortunately Chuck Norris has never cried.
Some people wear Superman Pajamas to bed, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect four in just 3 moves. Chuck Norris doesnt need twitter, hes already folliwng you.
Death once had a near-chuick norris experience. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Chuck Norris”
Chuck Norris can speak in Braile. If it looks like chicken, smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then its fukin beef. Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris's leg. After 5 dyas of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
for macnorth Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Chuck Norris knows how to post in the appropriate forum Chuck Norris and Mr T walk into a bar. The bar explodes. You cant have that much awesome in one room.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain. The Only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thoguht he made a mistake. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris Uppercutted a horse. Chuck Norris was originally cast as the Main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12minutes and 37 seconds. On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete. Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up. Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result. Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins. The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
