S22 LGHL POST BIDDING Reviews- Just to be Frank edition

Just so you all know I did my last review from the shitter, and I thought I'd continue the trend now since every man knows they do their best thinking from the throne. Gonna be here for a while so I made sure I devoured some grilled chicken penne alla vodka earlier. Rip my bhole. Say your prayers for me boys.

Now down to business: I will again be rating each team's bidding efforts out of 10 (based off of button skill, overall brain capacity, potential Chem and possession of 2 opposable thumbs) highlighting key players, as well as shitheads that I think were overpaid and or should have been PURGED. Don't take too much offense to this because you can always prove me wrong! Hell, who am I kidding you're probably going to prove the inevitable that you do in fact snort paste.

Anaheim Ducks- @o WjD O / @All in the Hip

Overall Team Rating- 8.5/10 as expected Wes and Hip put together a lot of guys with countless years of playing together and button skill in every area of the ice most importantly.

Key Players- that piece of shit @VaPoRiZ a.k.a the Liability, @HarryBurntToast a consistent non traffic cone defenseman, and @goldbud24 who I'm interested to see play this game with his known desperation style.
Shout out to @Fruit Smooothy or @OvenMitts19 ? For the d0Pe tag.

PURGE worthy- None



Arizona Coyotes- @Stickzlaf / @FoX l1l

Overall Team Rating- 6.5/10 with a solid Top 4 d crew and some mediocre at best fwd's I see this team being in a fight for playoff position for sure. Also hoping @RoWsKi l5l will be the guy who gets the nod 6 games a week.


Key Players- @FoX l1l and @Stickzlaf manning the points on the 2nd pairing I presume to that guy who rages a lot @El Gandhii & fuck boy @xRICKOSHAY a.k.a RickOCone,


PURGE worthy- @DOLPHWEEEEEEEEN my dude never makes the saves when it matters, am I right @Th3 l AnD 0n1y ?




Boston Bruins- @X BoB SwAGG3R X / @B0SS of B0SSES


Overall Team Rating- 7/10 The Sick Life Kids and whatever else they could afford after over paying those fuckers, especially Hanson who should have had to pay to be on the team.


Key Players- @lL A lK lE making a comeback to the Lg scene with a familiar group of fellas, @Th3 l AnD 0n1y a.k.a THE LORD, Can OlddirtyRENOB @OldDirtyBoany69 carry this d core of AHL'ers?


PURGE worthy- Everyone on D besides Boany



Buffalo Sabres- @StamToast / @xFIOx TENDY 29

Overall Team Rating- 9/10 One simply can't argue that this is a high powered offense, then you add @Odieeeeee to the mix to sky rocket that D's overall. I feel like who ever Odie's paired with it will make them that much better. However Odie can only play 3 games a week boys! Toast is easily one of the best if not the best tendies in the game so the defensive lack of depth can be boosted with some great goaltending.


Key Players- @shuhead a top 4 dman on any squad, interested to see how he plays this years game. @keso paghuni welcome back man, Nice to see you wont be stealing a Norris away from anyone this season.


PURGE worthy- You're all safe, I trust Tendy and Toast's intellect of the league.




Calgary Flames- @brandovedo / @x Nemzer x 89


Overall Team Rating- 7/10 I see you guys stacked 1 fwd line and even managed to get a stable D core. Only issue I see is the goal tending and lack of 3rd line fwd depth(nobody good left in bidding regardless if full roster)


Key Players- @Xx LoL xX 9 great skater and teammate of mine on The Bomb Squad who claims to have some Chem with Nemzer so I'd hope they're paired on a line, @Chivs01 i'm assuming will be paired up with @Watman eh on a line?

PURGE worthy- @Shady x35 because it's Crosscheck, and @m1st3r ped because auto-back skate...




Carolina Hurricanes- @Handzus / @FiveTime05


Overall Team Rating- Jesus Christ.... 5.5/10 I'm sorry to my boys on the team who are stuck with this mess @Handzus put together


Key Players- @Adams x 21 who is a sleeper fwd that many of you wouldn't expect production out of but believe it or not him and that loud mouth @PlottweiLeR have loads of chemistry together. Will Adams be able to carry the line is my next question?; @FiveTime05 is an under-rated goalie who will most likely make you piss yourself laughing so even when any of you are stuck on same line as @Ozzyng2 or @Handzus you can at least get in some good laughs whether it be with Phil or at Ozzy's piss poor attempts to do things on offense.


PURGE worthy- @Ozzyng2 , @Handzus , @Auto Jets , @o S m i i t t y



Chicago BlackHawks- @Serpe x 13 / @sD tHa MenTor


Overall Team Rating- 4.5/10 Some mediocre fwd's outside of a couple guys to be named later, a couple good dmen, and 2 average tendy's


Key Players- @Grogoon , @Haunted Avocado , @Dork x22 , @Cronkzy97 will have some serious back packing to do.




Colorado Avalanche- @TINO45REAPER / @NewfieMiLLeR


Overall Team Rating- 6.5/10 Outside of @Po1andsFinest and @TINO45REAPER that offense is AIDS/MUMPS ETC. Defense headlined by my boy @bud2790 and @Gary Garoo who the fuck are you ? Great Goaltending combo

Key Players- @Po1andsFinest will my club m8 have the patience to stick around or is there a trade request in the near future? Can @bud2790 carry the load on D?


PURGE worthy- The Newfie's, @TH3 WID0WMAK3R a.k.a windowlicker, that annoying dude from the chat box @eMLBCommish and Moe @Jus2SaucY




Columbus Blue Jackets- @Potsy44 / @dirtsaucesnipes


Overall Team Rating- 6.5/10 Not often do I do this but I'm going to eat my words from my pre bidding assessment and say these guys did a nice job of acquiring guys who frequently play club together and play one dumb but annoying game of hockey that some how frustrates the other team enough to sneak a few upset dubs.


Key Players- @DannyreTartabul bringing the grind , @SABBA x 96 a young 9th wonder like talent, @Teneur separated from his cross crease nerds will he be as effective carrying that d core?


PURGE worthy- @dirtsaucesnipes , @Xx4m4ziNgxX 35 , @Supple Carrots just because of the rage this will ensue.



Dallas Stars- @Pandaleupagus / @xxThe GreaT 48


Overall Team Rating- 9/10 you can claim I'm biased here but when you have 2 first lines, 5 well known dmen, and 2 fr33ks between the pipes you can't argue this teams destined for success.


Key Players- @Havok l93l will he just drop out of school already and focus on his virtual gaming career? @EddieThEagleG20 because he's EDDIE THE FAWKIN EAGLE, @Salty Milk Bags the best dunker in the world! @peasantpedro will he finish out the whole season with America's team?



Purge Worthy- PanDUH LoopAGus because he sucks booty







Detroit Redwings- @Jay l19l / @cj142


Overall Team Rating- 8.5/10 Veteran group of guys all around, only way someone's getting PURGED here will be if you steal any of Big Jay's coveted Big Macs.


Key Players- @x LegendaryKev on defense is intriguing, a welcome back to league play is in order to @DaNextOne who will add both veteran experience and button skill to an already solid fwd group, also his former Shammer's teammate @Aerotonic manning the pipes!


PURGE worthy- N/A




Edmonton Oilers- @GB521 / @Brisan66


Overall Team Rating- 8/10 Some deep fwd lines, average defense and reliable goaltending should lead to early success for this Oiler's squad.


Key Players- @The MainEvent can this washed up Vet (JK Steve) show us he's still got it, @Fr33kOnTheStix is he still a fr33k on the stix, or will he be a bust with that contract?! I believe in you Chriz!


PURGE worthy- @Foote Eh I really just want to hear your reaction to this, also if you and @GolSki40 are on the same line I can only imagine how difficult it will be for anyone to concentrate on the game at hand without laughing and or wanting to jump off the nearest cliff lol.




Florida Panthers- @Obiwan x 79 / @Kariya x 9


Overall Team Rating- -8/10

-

Key Players- N/A



PURGE worthy- The entire roster




Los Angeles Kings ( @LA Kingss ) a.k.a Hollywood - @SJUSoccer9 / @Space Jam XVII


Overall Team Rating- 9/10 stacked top 2 fwd lines, good top 4 d lines, and two studs in net


Key Players- @officialmark07 Have no fear the Mark Knight is here! @xIx Mac xIx is a one of the better tendy's this years game with the ring vet @Mr Vezina 20 sharing the role. @Proud Gay Dad because this guy is the enforcer of the group. FEAR HIM AND COVER YOUR BUMS!


PURGE worthy- N/A






Minnesota Wild- @Couture l 39 l / @Sejje 87


Overall Team Rating- 6/10


Key Players- @Bass l91l at the very tradeable Price of 8.75 mil it's win or an unhappy Trade request away from disaster here, @IcE JaVeLiN brings some much needed intangibles to the table here, @Remnato and @urnewstepd4d will be required to stand on their respective heads a lot with that d core.


PURGE worthy- The defense outside of @Make Your Luck who should be in net and @Dav711 who seems out of place on that team.




Montreal "Snakes" Canadiens- @Jay Rulez / @x Latourious


Overall Team Rating- 8.5/10 after winning the cup in that watered down mess of a summer season these guys aren't screwing around when it comes to making another run for glory. With the return of that POS snake @AlexeiKovalev27 these guys are prepared to do whatever it takes to win.


Key Players- @Known as Dub the racist (BITW) welcome back dood!, @lL lE lF lT lY a consistent performer who has loads of Chem with a Dub should have a very high scoring year if paired together. @dayman531 having another go at the point should flourish in this system. Another prime pairing of tendy's with @bakesssss who hopefully has taken the tape off his Right trigger? And @zBernatchez


PURGE worthy- @Bitetto02 becsuse annoying and overpaid.






Nashville Predators- @DankTheGod / @Yantzer x 84


Overall Team Rating- 6.5/10 defense is filled with seasoned vets, offense has @AJ9191 @Manship x 91 and that @Scumbag MVP guy



Key players- @BROKEUDOWN my trusty d partna from last season, miss you man! , @AOlax22 Austin I'm hoping you don't catch the AIDS, @ReplayChr1s If he doesn't request a trade and the fwd's I mentioned will be a key in any kind of success this group amounts to.



PURGE worthy- @DankTheGod because dude you belong in the AHL, @Yantzer x 84 you too, @ll NATE DOGG ll no idea who the fuck you are either. Need that button @ball saddle




New Jersey Devils- @Girgss / @Chislett 19

Overall Team Rating- 9/10 the chemistry here's real fellas. Got some BFD guys, the chislett and @The Gr8 Haxby connection to shit on them 3rd lines . Girgs gets to play 6 games with his brother on the team!



Key Players- @Rammered can the anchor of this d core carry the load back there? @BiLLs 39 rarely disappoints in net, @JaY CHiN 92 that quote Pryme has of you with wanting someone's D or whatever is pretty sweet. @Blobss & Girgles prob won't lose a game tbh



PURGE worthy @burnett10 because you stink





New York Islanders- @I Beat Up Cakes / @Devin l94l


Overall Team Rating- 9.5/10 Prob the best team when it comes to taking Chem into account with 3 solid fwd lines, button skilled defensemen however I'm unfamiliar with @Zinccccccc 's back up however when it comes to the goal tending situation.


Key Players- with the return of the bros @Jewell x 96 and @x Kariya 9 x I'm interested to see if they still got it. Whomevers on Devin and Cakes line will surely benefit playing with them.



PURGE worthy- N/A





New York Rangers- @FiGS42 / @Knight l91l


Overall Team Rating- 7/10 lotta Grind on the front end, the defense is filled with familiar names but questionable, the goal tending includes a blast from my RC past.


Key Players- @FiGS42 an early a Rocket favorite , @Tyy l94l will pound 3rd lines, and @SeverableRaptor who will most likely be bailing out that defense on nights when the offense doesn't show.




PURGE worthy- @pensman66 because he's MUMPS








Ottawa Senators- @mackay 27 / @Jester Race666


Overall Team Rating- 6/10 not often do you find success when your management is AIDS, these guys are a prime example of that. Fwds are 2nd liners at best, the d consist of AHL'ers outside of @YEEEZUS CHRlST



Key Players- @YEEEZUS CHRlST will indeed have to be JESUS if this team expects to do anything, @Canada x 31 and @fins up 786 will need to stand tall to steal some games for these guys.



PURGE worthy- the defense outside of @YEEEZUS CHRlST and Fwds that aren't named @TheYungProdigy and @kingbrad3







Philadelphia Flyers- @BLicK12 / @mashle93


Overall Team Rating- PHUN/10 Well some might question all the money thrown at a couple guys on the team but you can't argue that win or lose these guys won't be having PHUN!



Key Players- @Delisle x 9 dude's a brick house when he skates I can see him carrying a line, @RandomMeat this Guy's a stud, and has excellent party presence. @Perrilyzer1 with the big contract, welcome back you fuck!


PURGE worthy- @NugeTV and that brutal contract and for "making" this shit game







Pittsburgh Penguins- @lx Bradley lx / @x S m ii R k Y



Overall Team Rating- 8/10 Offense is ridiculous, goaltending is good minus @Rapter0621 since he raged off our club faster than he joined defense is @Primetimme


Key Players- @Primetimme who the hell you gonna pair this guy with? Do you guys have any salary left for D?? Am I missing something? @Easy Mac 92 one of the better passers I've played with should have a good year with the line combo's these guys can make. Last but not least the returning @x S m ii R k Y who has built a powerhouse offensive group, possesses a nifty set of thumbs as well.


PURGE worthy- N/A



San Jose Sharks @ChrisTastik / @cnumartyr85


Overall Team Rating- 7.5/10 Gala just sucks the life out of this organization. Other than that it's a solid team for Chris' first time as management.


Key Players- @Prymerr presuming the trade request hasn't happened already, will he be able to co exhist with that mouth breather Gala? Side note: Prymer is a fr33k at eating Cheetos @cnumartyr85 making his return as well, will he play a role in the team's success? Big late bidding scoop up of a well known offensive dman in @T Jenx





St Louis Blues- @Hainers / @GDF LoT KiD 17


Overall Team Rating- 7/10 I don't like you Oshie, you bitch! Drew you've come along way my son. This team has some Chem with the stetty and Rayn'dog pairing, veteran presence with Bardy back there. A vacuum and King Ellis in net.


Key Players- @x SMP 7 x and @Raynor28 , @Luffy Qc my boy, and favorite person to play with. Fuck you again Oshie!



PURGE worthy- @Hainers <----Bitch





Tampa Bay Lightning- @SweeT 9 LoU 84 / @Batman x 17

Overall Team Rating- 7/10 only because this team focused on the offense and half their defense unless Lg's lying to me and they have 3 other dmen? Anyhow they posses two tendy's with some interesting gamertag selections


Key Players- @Batman x 17 can he transfer his point scoring ability from last season over to this one? @King Scavuzzo90 who is one of the most unorthodox and talented players I've seen play the NHL series.



PURGE worthy- @ii GL0BAL ii just for claiming to be a top 5 anything ever...




Toronto Maple Leafs(Queefs)- @TheLastRecluse5 / @MafiaMan15


Overall Team Rating- 6.5/10 because the defense is "Suspect" since I haven't seen any of them play this years game. Goal tending is also interesting with two familiar faces from the past making returns. Lotta Pelicans on this squad so the Chem is most likely there



Key Players- @Oo TheMVP oO will this guy's ego allow him to prosper in this situation he's been thrusted into? @Lazy Pedestrian man I don't particularly care for you but you and Mafia have prior success together so I'm interested to see this combo reunite. @Josh55777 a known fr33k between the pipes that might make a surprise Vezina run if he still plays as good as I remember.



PURGE worthy- N/A





Vancouver Canucks- @NickyDubya / @Hellcatxx


Overall Team Rating-6/10 the offense is there aside from Nicky Nubya, defense looks god awful. Goaltending is Duster Dann and Herpes.



Key Players- @G lR ii M x and @ll Gibby12Yr ll are rumored to be rocking enforcer builds so that should play a role in whether this team has a chance of at least finishing above .500 with that lack of defense. @dom qp sorry buddy but you got the short end of the stick no matter who you're stuck with on D.



PURGE worthy- @Big Al Klakin youre a nice fella but my god you're dumb as rocks and it shows on the ice. Nicky Nubya, you're teams have gotten some what better compared to the shit shows I've seen you put together but you're button skill is lacking still.







Washington Capitals- @SmiTTy x 12 / @Hopkins xX


Overall Team Rating-7.5/10 gotta lotta guys who can find the back of the net, not many set up men however. The defense is mediocre but filled with a ton of heart courtesy of my ninja @Freddy Couples I'm hoping smitty will allow Tex to get the starting Nod.



Key Players- you guys are gonna have to bare with me since I've been drinking since I got home from work so some of this shit's getting repetitive.. Anyhow @Cooker1091 and @Tex243 are my guys to look out for to stand out big time this season



PURGE worthy- @Buddy Roberts, @Hopkins xX and @x IHI a y e s just because








Winnipeg Jets- @HobO0nurporch / @Bcripps xl45lx


Overall Team Rating-8.5/10 probably one of the more well-balanced teams put together in bidding, good offense, a Suter led defense and a free Bcripps who when's not getting short sided can steal games and do stats!


Key Players- @MattTheCoolCat Guys just a role player, does everything he needs to do to win the BIIES, @Suter x 20 because he's not only a dominant force on D but he's also a CUTIE PA TUTIE!




PURGE worthy- @aKa ShUt DoWn D because I want to see that frenchie rage!




Sorry for how long this was guys, but I hope it's somewhat enjoyable. And no I haven't been shitting this entire time surprisingly. GOOD LUCK TO ALL YOU FUCKS!

 

9.5 again, im fucking done.

 

I got mentioned. I'm relevant.

 

Nice Job Frank! Keep it up!

 

very good read thanks for taking the time to write this.

 

@Ryan McDonut 27 im not using auto-back skate anymore. Can u find me another weakness plz so i will be able to correct it for the next season!

 

[10:53 AM]
JaY CHiN 92
: gonna go play with my buddies D thanks for the inv

 

10/10 read

 

10/10 can't ask for much more than a winky face. <3

 

Little known fact I got a week ban for telling them they still hadn't fixed their censor after Dub was nice enough to give them a heads up.

 

#1 person who should be purged on bostons dcore here

 

Thanks for taking the time to make the write up frank

 

@Ryan McDonut 27 at least have the balls to tag me

 

Thanks for the purge mention, and the $25 contribution you made to LG for just being you, Frank. Sorry you can't handle my wit, there's no four letter words or references to poop in them, so I understand your challenge.

 

So our entire roster is purge worthy? Loll ok bud you must be right

 

These are fun to read, thanks for taking the time to do it.

 

0/10, I'm not listed as purgeworthy

 

I've been in the NHL every season and I won a Stanley Cup, but I should be in the AHL? Makes sense...

 

Long, but definitely worth the read, no one else seems to do power rankings of any kind anymore. The league was much more interesting when more people did.

Also; I don't care what @Gala Apples says about you, you're a good man!