Issue No. 2 — LGAHL Overtime: Looking Back at Bidding

Imgur link: http://i.imgur.com/uXh74GX.jpg

 

Text versions of stories:

32 players go for $3.5 million or more
Wolves land most expensive player with @schroyer69, $8.75

By nubsy004
LGAHL Overtime Editor
Summer season bidding is in the books, and going for big bucks were 32 players, each with salaries at $3.5 million or more.
Those 32 are spread between 25 teams. Only Chicago, Lake Erie, Binghamton, Bridgeport, Albany, Utica, San Diego and Toronto nabbed two players at $3.5 million or more, including six left wingers, four centers, seven right wingers, six left defensemen, eight right defensemen and one goalie.
The top bid went to left defenseman @schroyer69, at $8.75 million to Chicago. A veteran of the LGHL PSN and LG Pro PSN, this seems to be his first foray into the Xbox side of LG. In his last season of LGHL PSN, he went 22-2 with 47 points and a +46. Nothing to scoff at. But, can those numbers translate over into the AHL on Xbox?
Tied for the second-highest bids at $8 million were left defenseman @Bellx91 and right wing @Cronkzy92, who went to Lake Erie and Manitoba, respectively.
In S22 of the AHL, Bell was 21-7-1 with 51 points and a +21 on St. John’s, and in the playoffs for the ice Caps, boasted a 7-1 record with 7 points and a +4. Solid stats for any defenseman in the league. In S23, however, a move to the Winnipeg Jets saw him go 6-15-2 with 21 points and a -30. Surely coming back to the A is a welcome change.
Cronkzy last season was 17-9-2 with 67 points and a 36.8 shooting percentage for Hartford. With a solid cast assembled in Manitoba, those numbers could easily go up.
No. 4 in bidding was right wing @Givemedings16 to Binghamton for $7.75 million. A CHLer last season, he was 17-5-2 with 97 points, including 59 goals, and shot at a ridiculous pace of 50.9 percent. If those numbers can be replicated one league up, Binghamton may have found a gem.
Left winger @Danky was next on the list at $6.75 million to Hershey. His last season in LG, S22 in the NHL, saw him record a 6-16-3 record with 36 points. For the price paid by Hershey, the Bears better hope he has broad shoulders and can carry the team to the postseason.
Beyond those top 5, here’s how the next 27 played out:
• @The Nack Show, Hartford, center, $6.5 million
• @Kevin Mozez, Binghamton, center, $6.5 million
• @Hertz x 18, Syracuse, left wing, $6 million
• @Rogers 2010, Springfield, right defense, $6 million
• @l Nasty l 61 l, St. John’s, left wing, $5.75 million
• @GSW925, Rochester, right defense, $5.5 million
• @l Krug 47 l, Lehigh Valley, right defense, $5.25 million
• @Brisan66, Bakersfield, left wing, $5.25 million
• @Strawnine, Bridgeport, right defense, $5 million
• @xCROSBYx l87l, Wilkes-Barre Scranton, right wing, $4.75 million
• @DA JABR0NY, Lake Erie, goalie, $4.5 million
• @LividPenguin924, Ontario, right defense, $4.5 million
• @im just a squid, Chicago, left wing, $4.5 million
• @KP1114, Rockford, right wing, $4.25 million
• @Schizostone, Albany, left defense, $4.25 million
• @Daqs x 13, Iowa, center, $4.25 million
• @PENSxCrosbyx87, Providence, right wing, $4 million
• @Auggy32, Utica, left defense, $4 million
• @Chenz l 4 l, San Diego, right wing, $4 million
• @InsurancePolicy, San Diego, left defense, $3.75 million
• @CaptainCanadaBW, Milwaukee, right wing, $3.75 million
• @Oh So Country, Albany, right defense, $3.5 million
• @Horvat ll53ll, Utica, right defense, $3.5 million
• @Oh Grumpy, Toronto, right defense, $3.5 million
• @GamingSaiyan55, Toronto, center, $3.5 million
• @larzdachronic, Bridgeport, left defense $3.5 million
• @Gnashty41, Charlotte, left defense, $3.5 million
Of all the top 32, GSW and Krug got the most looks with seven teams placing bids on each of them. Bid-wise, Givemedings got the most with 24, and split between just four teams.
Most curiously, im just a squid, who went to Chicago, had just the one bid at $4.5 million, which begs the question, could the Wolves have spent less on him. Squid is a solid player, so possibly not, but interesting he would be put up so high right off the bat. A player they definitely wanted, no doubt.
As for teams and cash flow, as of start of games on Sunday, five teams still had more than $4.5 million, not including cash gained for players on waivers.
Grand Rapids leads with $9.5 million, Bridgeport is second with $6.5 million, Providence has $5.5 million, San Jose sits at $4.75 million and Hershey comes in with $4.5 million.
On the other end of the spectrum, Chicago, Hartford and St. John’s all paid up evenly and have $0 cash flow. Milwaukee is $2 million in the hole, but by waiving goalie Scary Jews, will get back in the black soon.

Biggest bids have poor availability
Internet, girlfriends, pets leading to wasted money for some teams

By nubsy004
LGAHL Overtime Editor
According to rumors throughout the league since bidding has ended, many of the players with top bids will have poor availability, leaving GMs distraught for wasting so much cash.
Left defenseman @schroyer69, who went to Chicago for $8.75 million originally said he’s good for 6 games per week, but has since dropped to three on account of his internet connection.
“I have Time Warner, and those bastards can’t even connect four if they tried,” he said. “I’ll be lucky if my internet holds up just a couple nights per week. I spend more time on the phone with those jokers than I do on my box.”
Speaking of box, a couple players have said girlfriends may lead to low availability. Left defenseman @Bellx91, who went to Lake Erie for $8 million, and right defenseman @The Nack Show, who went to Hartford for $6.5 million, each said significant others may cause problems.
“My girls is in my face constantly, and sometimes, it’s just not worth playing the game and not getting laid,” Bell said.
“I’m out on Sundays for Game of Thrones and Mondays for American Ninja Warriors, Tuesdays we do dinner at my girl’s parents’ place, and Wednesday is obviously hump day,” Nack said with a snicker. “So, I can play the Thursday game and that’s basically it.”
@Cronkzy92, who received an $8 million contract in Manitoba, said he will be too busy changing his name to be able to play consistently.
“If I don’t keep changing my name, too many people will know who I am,” he said. “I’m trying to stay under the radar here, and if that affects my availability, so be it.”
When asked if rumors about him were true, left wing @Danky, who went for $6.75 million to Hershey, was not able to understand the availability question.
“Availability….yea I think I have that,” he said with bloodshot eyes and smelling of ganja so strong the scent was coming through the phone during the interview. “It’s $50 a G.”
Binghamton may be in double trouble, as its two top bids, right wing @Givemedings16 at $7.75 million and center @Kevin Mozez at $6.5 million, said animal trouble may prevent them from playing.
“My pit bull hates my Xbox,” Dings said. “Whenever I play, he sits there barking at me and tries to take the controller out of my hands. Then he eats the sticks.”
“Simply put, my Mastiff ate my Xbox,” Mozez said. “I’m going to have to take out a loan to go buy a new one, and there’ no guarantee he won’t eat that one, too.”
LGAHL BOGs have said the players with the 10 highest bids are immune to bans because of availability, meaning some teams may struggle to fill spots and may be relying on ECUs consistently during the season.

SATIRE DISCLOSURE: This article is not serious in nature. If you believe what you have read here, Overtime and the LGAHL relinquish all responsibilities regarding your actions. Carry on.

 

@nubsy004 @EricE30 this shit is hilarious lol.......I was available for a interview tho.

 

I don't doubt you are haha. That story is just me making up shit. It's like 90% of the reason I'm doing this paper lol

 

LOOK I MADE THE COVER. ELITEEE

 

LETS GO AHL, these boys are doing this type of stuff for the "likes", show em your support

 

I wouldn't be surprised if some of these is true on teams haha

 

trash

 

do you even play?

 

Lol I don't remember ever saying anything about availability , think ya got the wrong bell lol

 

Learn to read idiot

 

You dont remember or you didnt inhale?

 

Lol.

Commas save lives.

 

I came here for one reason, I saw Crass posted while I was checking LG in-between Pokemon Go hunting runs.

Hi Crass.

 

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