A Scrubba Dub Dub: week 1 scrub hunter watch & team power ranking

It's 2 AM and I've been drinking so why not piss everyone off and write something that's probably going to be rated as complete shit once it's all said and done only to repeat it the next week. A few years ago back during the Blackhawks Cup run where they beat the Bruins there was an article I found (written by secondcity.com) that had a description for what does your Blackhawks sweater say about your personality. I read this article since I'm a Blackhawks fan and laughed at how true it really was. Some of my favorite examples went like this:

Toews #19: "This is my first game, and the tag is still on my jersey. Go Toes!:
Kane #88: "Lincoln Park is my Shangri-La. After the game I'll be at Stanley's, pounding Bud Light Platinum."
Amonte #10: "My mullet speaks to the years of suffering I spent waiting for this team to get good again."
Probert #24: "Not only do I enjoy meth, but I will kill you as soon as I look at you."

The article went on to list other Hawks players from past and present and described them pretty perfectly. I finally got down to mine and when I read it I burst out laughing because of how true it really is.

Shaw #65: "While guys use the urinal between periods at the United Center, I will scream and yell 'Hawks' at the top of my lungs directly in their ears."

Andrew Shaw has a special place in my heart for his years with the Hawks and because of his ability to just stir shit up. I wear his Hawks sweater with pride even though he is no longer with the team. I also carry on the legacy that sweater by stirring shit up. Why? Because I can and as Alfred would say "Some men just want to watch the world burn." which leads to the purpose of this entirely too long introduction which I'm guessing 90% of you have just skimmed or skipped over to get to the meat and potatoes.

This will be the first of what will be weekly threads honoring those who shy away from danger. The ones that feel insecure about their thumbs. The ones that hope that someone doesn't expose them for their scrub hunting. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the AHL's biggest scrub hunters of the week. But, before we start we need to set some ground rules, some guidelines as to who qualifies for this distinctive honor since scrubs can't go out scrub hunting.

The first rule of scrub hunting is you DONT TALK ABOUT SCRUB HU...sorry the first rule is that in order to go scrub hunting you have to win because if ya lose to a scrub what does that make you? As such, qualifying skaters will have at least 3 wins on the week and have played at least 3 games (I mean you have to play 3 to have 3 wins right? I don't know. Math is hard).

The second rule of scrub hunting is that players have to average at least a point per game during those games. It's not really hunting if you're just shooting blanks.

As the season progresses I'll be doing my best to keep track of not only the biggest scrub hunters for the week but also for the season. Now, I'm using the term "scrub hunting" a little loosely. There's always factors such as availability and things like that but either everyone is free game or no one's free game so scrub hunting season is officially open!

The way these numbers are calculated will be through a power ranking system I am tracking based off the ELO system that is used in professional chess rankings (yes I know nerdy but look whos writing this). Basically, this system rewards winning teams and detracts from losing teams. If a team with a lower ELO rating beats a team with a higher rating they have a chance to gain more points since they beat a higher ranked team. Anyway, the base line stat that every team starts off with is 2000. After week 1 this is how the AHL power rankings shape up.

​

Now that we have the team rankings figured out we can move onto the individual players and who they played. I take the average ELO rating for the teams each qualifying player played that week and the Top 10 lowest scores end up as our top scrub hunters of the week. So here is our week 1 list starting with....

10. Nick Saville - Hartford
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 10 pts (7 G, 3 A), +9
Overall Scrub score: 1974

9. TheNortoriousBIG - Rochester
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 5 pts (3 G, 2 A), +5
Overall Scrub score: 1968

8. Boughss - Rochester
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 7 pts (3 G, 4 A), +5
Overall Scrub score: 1968

7. LeGIT-_-NOODLES - Rockford
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 9 pts (5 G, 4 A), +5
Overall Scrub score: 1965

6. B-raded - Belleville
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 7 pts (0 G, 7 A), +7
Overall Scrub score: 1962

5. Johnkenney01 - Belleville
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 11 pts (9 G, 2 A) +7
Overall Scrub score: 1962

4. xXDJFREEZEXx - San Jose
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 3 pts (0 G, 3 A) +5
Overall Scrub score: 1957

Now this is where things get real interesting. If you haven't noticed with these players above some of them are playing on the same line so they ended up with the same score but these top 3 caught me completely off guard because it is one entire line for a team. Enough talk let's get back to it.

3. bbraves1328 - Syracuse
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 9 pts (5 G, 4 A) +4
Overall Scrub score: 1954

2. GalchyTheBeast27 - Syracuse
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 9 pts (3 G, 6 A) +4
Overall Scrub score: 1954

1. SFL_PxssyLipz - Syracuse
Weekly Stats: 3-0-0, 11 pts (5 G, 6 A) +4
Overall Scrub score: 1954

Are these players actually scrub hunters? Are they handcuffed by availability issues? Or was it just some strange, alien coincidence. I leave that for all of you to decide in the comments below which I'm sure will all be completely positive and uplifting since we are happy, loving community and with that I am out of here.

​

 

Go home, you are drunk.

 

Mine was 2019....damn that's alot of scrubbin

 

Why you scrub hunting. Did daddy @BigFreeze064 not teach you any better

 

I don't do this kinda thing. I ain't Billy.

 

Tbh I'm just jealous...wish I played on your line so I could play inferior talent.

 

Good. Expose them.

 

Galchy I love ya but you played some questionable teams this week and ceeg may have encouraged me just for kicks lol

 

@Johnkenney01

 

@zTaylorHall4z

 

Bottle made the schedule, and i played a good Providence line. I wouldn't call them scrubs. lol

 

It’s too early to indicate scrub hunting give it at least a couple weeks first week teams are just question marks for the most part

 

No disrespect but mikey and Lewy would of definitely made this list all season

 

Wrong forum. Go back to the NHL big boi.

 

Lmao I won’t argue

 

So then it's settled. It's all Bottles fault. Yeah I'm not saying these teams are actually scrub teams right now but I just wanted to stir shit up into a nice brown milkshake. It'll all get more clear who the real scrub hunters are throughout the season and who has the availability bug.

 

It's fine, i'm a scrub anyway

 

Shhh zero you're not supposed to the be the logical voice of reason here. That's only when I want to make a stupid trade or come up with some insanely bad strategy

 

screaming DO IT!!! is barely encouragement. Good write up. Sorry @GalchyTheBeast27
and @bbraves1328 . Told her you aren't scrub hunters (how can scrubs be scrub hunters) but she didn't believe me.