A very Moronic Management Review

Alright lads,

I got bored and decided to use a different take on these reviews as everyone is scared to give their actual opinion, so here's my take on Managers this season in the AHL.

Bakersfield Condors

First off, this is all @Game Seven W fault. This guy came in and everyone knew this team was bond to fail. Then he quit, as everyone expected and left a dumpster fire in the hands of @Taro Hirose who managed to keep the train somewhat rolling. These guys are in a playoff spot as of right now thanks to an awful division.

@Game Seven W & @Polska : L
@Taro Hirose : Good kid, left in a bad situation, did what he could. C+
@SassyTricks72 : West kid, awful reputation, not even in Managers chat, 5-12-1 as free contract. D-
@ChiSouthSiderr : Someone needs to let this guy know his 7 career AHL wins don't scream ''I'm a STUD.'' F

Belleville Senators

Well, these guys send Ggs after they win games, so you know they don't win often. Getting rid of @ll SiZZLe ll was actually the best move they made all season long. Boys had a west line and a good one at that, hardly ever used it from what I've heard. I mean come on boys. One of the most disappointing teams in the league.

@ll 91 ll : Bit of a ghost, sent me to his NHL Owner more often than not. Doesn't seem like a half bad player. C
@Drake0807 : Big time Gg'er, decent player and seems like a decent human as well. C

Binghampton Devils

Thank God for @Darth2804 quitting. This team has been rolling ever since. Not sure who actually runs the show here. But whoever is in charge did a lot better job than what Darth could have ever done. Kids would probably be first in the league if it wasn't for the week or two that Darth was in charge or it's because they can't win an OT game to save their lives. *Shrug*

@ScheckDiesel : Big popcorn guy, didn't even know he was the actual GM. 13 W's. B
@Rage Rox : Beauty, another guy who can't win in OT. Seemed to be running the team?? B+
@XenoSZN : Guy couldn't win 10 in the show so he came down here. Did nothing management wise, but is carrying his line heavy. Gotta give credit where credit is due. A

Bridgeport Sound Tigers

Dominant team. Except when playing these Yeckers. Suck it. Lot of shoutbox presence outta this bunch. Sexual Orientation is questionable at best. Hockey wise they look aiiiight.

@Brisan x6 : Media is usually 10/10, give it a 3/10 this season tho. Gotta love when this guy has "3rd Line" stats for this team's standards. A
@l SaIty I : Probably the least savage guy I know. Won't even talk shit to me. Soft. Decent season tho. A
@DeIosh : Absolute beauty and if you disagree, I don't give a fuck. I miss you tending my pipe tho. A++

Charlotte Checkers

Yes we're the idiots who put all their cap on forwards and 2M on a goalie. This is the kind of shit management needed to piss off the whole league. Cause you can put up 5 goals against us and still lose. Oh and we have a west line and love it. Suck it.

@Drxma : True brain behind this roster. Guy's bidding and trade skills are second to none let's face it. A++
@Goostaav : True do nothing AGM. Loses a couple games and turns emo. I'm only holding him hostage to piss him off. He's decent with the sticks I guess. A-
@FrenchMoron : AHL's biggest snake. Fuck you all. B

Chicago Wolves

One of the "Meh" teams of the league. Seems like their top line could upset a few teams, but the rest of em just struggled to win the games they should have. Somehow only 9 points out of playoffs. We're all rooting for you... or not.

@P4LE PWNR : Actually won more games than last year. Grats on that. Hardly ever seen him talk except for gametime stuff. C
@V 4 T T Y : Gotta give it to this guy, he's really been trying to make shit happen this season, unfortunately it's hard to make things happen when you struggle winning 10 games as a free contract. A for effort tho. C

Cleveland Monsters

Probably the loudest average dudes I have ever seen in my LG career. These guys won't stop talking about their team like people care. Just suck and shut the fuck up like Hartford or something.

@MIKE x SCOTT : What a disaster. Better at changing tags than the game. And his tags have been questionable. D
@DONNYWOOD : Kinda grew on me as the season went on, please break up with Mike guy please. D+

Colorado Eagles

Here we go again. Another season where they easily win their division. Are they Conference Finals bond again? Or is this season the one?

@Dunks : Best Do Nothing GM in the league. Not for his skills, but his deceptiveness when it comes to him doing things. A++
@Baaacks : Another guy who Ggs after wins. Fuck that guy. Okay Player tho. D
@Smitterr : Seems like a bit of a dick, actually does management stuff. A

Grand Rapids Griffins

Fact this team was actually doing better WITH @CubsCrusher14 at 3M on their roster is actually mind blowing. What actually happened to this promising roster? It could never be egos right?

@Neil x 25 : Simply the best at everything he does. Not to blame one bit. A++
@Larkin l71l : Bill Cosby fan, guy doesn't use the swear words. Skin is paper thin. C
@MetalGhost0 : Kid seems like a great guy, but Do Nothing AGMs need to perform a bit more. C+

Harford GB521's

12.5M

@Stat5076 : Politics enthusiast, should stick to that over ruining other's LG experience. F
@Sports518God : Just now found out this guy was management here. D

Hershey Bears

Probably the most disappointing team this season as far as I'm concerned. I expected them and WBS to be giving us a run for our money all season. Just can't seem to win the close ones. Not an easy team to play nonetheless.

@xl NiTeOwL lx : Good guy, good player, just a rough season I guess. B-
@X OnCloudNine X : Nuage. Could just copy and paste the above. B-
@xDeadpanDan : Copy Pasta Frenzy. B-

Iowa Wild

Gotta feel for these guys. After building a surprisingly solid squad, @Provorov x 9 and @Papa Adams did what everyone knew they would and absolutely sucked in the NHL before ruining a number of guys' LG season by both taking the L and quitting. AHLers tryna do NHL things. Hate to see it.

@x iLLMaTiC 7x11 : Guy actually built a good roster. Damage management from the NHL's dumpster fire has been a little rough tho. B
@Hertz x 18 : Knew nothing about him before this season. Real good player, tough line to play. Don't think he did any management stuff tho. A-
@its Gallyy : Usually when Goalies play up they get roasted, this guy has been having a good season. Enjoyed doing management things with him as well. B

Laval Rocket

Is this team cursed or is the management here just constantly bad? These guys did @DudleyDoWright5 things this season. Except Dudley was actually in the race for a playoff spot at this time last season. Too much French is not the move.

@lX Kane 88 Xl : Hate to roast this guy like this. Great dude... But please stick to being a player. C
@LeFantomeNordik : Don't know much about the guy except for his lack of success as a manager. Decent season he's putting up tho. C

Lehigh Valley Phantoms

Man this is bitter sweet. Hated those jerseys to death, but had a lot of fun being a Phantom. Probably one of my biggest surprise this season. This team has been a pain in the ass to play against. Never an easy matchup. Props to them.

@v FrosTiC : Seems like a nice guy. Quiet dude. Ran a good ship. B-
@KaberIe : Not the kinda Free Contract you necessarily want to have, but they on their way to making it work. Props. B-
@Waxibono : When this guy remains quiet, you appreciate him. Then he turns to the keyboard and it's like.... B-

Manitoba Moose

Finally they got Moist out, but there was still a very Moisty like taste to this team. Then the management duo split up and it's been a roller coaster of emotions since. Still a dangerous team if they click at the right time.

@QcKT Tsunami : Guy finds the back of the net. I don't care who he plays. A
@Yonnnnnnn x 13 : 20 W's season confirmed. A+
@iTzMagic13 : Don't know much about the guy. Seems like he was tasked to carry an average line. B

Milwaukee Admirals

Personally believe these guys are going to be this season's biggest "Could Have" team. Quote me on this all you want. This is my HOT TAKE in this post.

@JC Enterprise : Annoying prick enjoying a good season. Props. A
@ASAP Jiren : Good guy, good player, would love to have a reason to hate him. A+
@Grandpa Jagr : PSN CHL teammate. That's elite status. A+

Ontario Reign

Still waiting on comp from these pricks... And for @Vaynx to accept my Discord friend request. Joking aside, I am glad these guys are in a playoff spot currently and hope to see them stick there.

@RyBish33 : You only see this guy around when it gets dark, but you're never disappointed when you do. 10/10 guy. A-
@Brovaltine730 : Quiet managers are my favorites. This guy is one of em. B+

Palm Springs Firebirds

They came in with a lot of confidence, but couldn't find the same success their NHL team did. Very hot start, no idea what has happened since. Beginner's luck? They somehow are still in the race.

@JxHaTch24x : Doesn't seem like an awful dude. Horrible gamertag change tho. C-
@Seek0 : Heard god things about his game, disappointing season to say the least. C-

Providence Bruins

AHL's most in shape team. These guys run like no other. Enjoying the fact that WBS and HER have been underperforming.

@Broomball16 : Was a fan, then the guy went full pussy mode. C-
@SunBunBudZ : Sheep. C
@Soxfan7744 : Having a heck of a season. Props. B+

Rochester Americans

AHL's most dramatic team. You definitely know when these guys are "hummin" or when they lose 9 in a row. Wouldn't be surprised if @Boogie x6 was a woman after all. They bounced back after being gifted @Xx LoL xX 9 and @Iegxndary tho.

@Clutch l28l & @I Nylander l : Never had an issue with either until they called me out for no reason. They know the ins and outs of this league tho so they are successful. A
@Boogie x6 : Drama Queen. Half Decent Player. B


Rockford Icehogs

This team was much more fun to hate on back when @PRiME80nj was running the ship. Now he's up ruining NHL records in the NHL. Kinda like Chicago, one of those "Meh" teams that just can't quite put it all together.

@I Fedxrov I91I : His last go round in the AHL was solid... What happened? D
@xLTD23x : Decent player, bit of a cry baby. C-
@ABankzy : Another decent player, at least stays quiet. C+

San Antonio Rampage

Can someone remind these guys that the first half of the season matters? Like season after season these guys just start playing the game week 3 it seems like. Like what the actual fuck?

@skyre5 : 100% scrubhunter. But also a top C. But still a scrubhunter. But also very good. A+
@SouPerSaiyan : Another guy people call out for scrubhunting, but also name MVP, go figure. A+
@The Broche : The ghost himself. Communicating with this guy feels like having to send Hedwig to Hogwarts so I can get a ride out my closet. He does hockey things well tho. A-

San Diego Gulls

This management duo spent more time on MLB The Show than working on this team and it showed. All jokes aside they seem like two good dudes who just didn't know the league well enough.

@Manship x 91 : Good player, poor manager. C
@bmasker15 : Weird cat, but entertaining. Never had an issue with him. C+
@MDHorton88 : Was actually having a solid season until recently. B-

San Jose Barracudas

Well I don't even know what to say. It looked promising for a bit, then you traded for @C4NADA . Was he too much pure skill to handle or did the boys just forget how to hockey since? Seems to me like the classic problem that comes with letting a Goalie run the show.

@Nyquist x 12 : Down season for the guy. But can still be lethal. B-
@GiveMeDaPuck : Fun guy to deal with. Average Season. C
@zBLINDZy : Apparently the guy making the calls. Not impressed. C-

Springfield Thunderbirds

Finally out of Poopie Snoopie prison, there was high hopes in Springfield.... But different management meant same result here unfortunately. One of two teams already mathematically out of it.

@jdj71 : Feel for the guy as he's tried very hard it seemd like, but it just wasn't meant to be. D
@SQUADCAV16 : Tough look for your free contract to win 4 of 21. D-

Stockton Heat

This team has been everything but hot this season, pun obviously intended. Deal with it. Couple of fallen soldiers left @oNo RuThLesS in charge, a spot he had been wanting since before the season. Unfortunately a 7 win campaign isn't quite going to cut it. They are still in the race for playoff spot tho. Western Pacific things for ya.

@oNo RuThLesS : Damage management somewhat successful I guess. C
@EYF Tricky : Seems like a Do Nothing AGM, again 7 W's ain't it at that price. D

Syracuse Crunch

Example #14578 as to why a full on Successful CHL Management duo is bond to fail at the next level. They came in with a lot of confidence, it looked good for a little bit, but the inevitable happened.

@DUSTydanglezz : Meh player, Meh manager. D+
@EX BOX B1NG : Idem. D+

Texas Stars

Rob I think it's time to hang them up buddy. Hate to be saying it this way, but your better years are far behind you. This one line they had was actually annoying. Now it's just a disaster. Highlight of their season has been Robson's Discord status on the daily.

@Rob475 : Good guy, a bit washed. D
@tranqzz : Surprised me with his game, and choices for quickie. B-
@GoogAndSwag : This guy is management? D

Toronto Marlies

Very underrated team who I think just struggled with chemistry or availability early on. Could be a team that upsets people come playoffs time.

@hutch2323 : Quiet, down season, no drama. C
@flyers2844 : So quiet I forgot he was their free contract. Down season. Good player tho. C
@Go for a celly : This guy's line has been carrying the load for the Marlies. B+

Tucson Roadrunners

The Trap is back and unfortunately it ain't working as well as it was last season. Mainly because they don't have the puck carriers on the back end. It's hard to hate on these guys because they mind their own business and do their thing. Gotta respect that.

@DEC3PTIVE 1 : The way he's able to impose a playstyle to horny and hormonal teenage fucktards is impressive to say the least. A-
@BaskutKayz : Heard of his raging habits, other than that I know nothing about him. C+
@FL BlackKnight : Not Freddy unfortunately. C-

Utica Comets

Well I believe everyone had high hopes for this roster before the season started. Then @Fxwst happened. Unfortunate to say the least. Still a team that can make a push for it all if they click.

@PigsOnJupiter : Abysmal season for his usual standards. C+
@Studz x 7 : WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK STUDZ?? WIN SOME. D+
@Krvstoffer : The savior Utica needed. Not cause of his play tho. C+

Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins

I probably spelt that wrong but who cares. I probably would have roasted these guys a lot more if it wasn't for @l Gentry l coming to me apologizing for his preseason antics. Honestly thought these guys were going to be challenging us and Bridgeport for the division. Now it's pretty much all Bridgeport and these guys are fighting for their lives trying to be a part of the dance.

@l Gentry l : Solid player, subpar chirper. B
@Motown : Quiet no bullshit kinda guy. B-
@VIBE Beats : He's at least putting up numbers. B-



Alright folks. This covers my management review. Whether you like it or not I don't really care. Just got tired of seeing the same 2 guys doing all the work. So I tried to come up with something different.

See you guys on the ice in the next couple weeks. Bring out that fire.

Peace.

Moron

 

Sexual orientation is questionable at best

Good read, sir!

 

I actually really enjoyed this. Half serious half satire. Love you FM

 

neil needs me

 

Excellent media French! Very nice bud.

 

“Here’s a list of guys that have been nice or mean to me”

— French

Appreciate any writeup though, so I’ll give you a like

 

WAY more time on MLB The Show. It's not even close.

 

Spot on ! great write up

 

To be fair, we had good players that either ego'd us (Pier, Luusky, Swibz) or got snaked by our NHL (Oakey). It turned into a shitshow real quick

 

Providence is welcome,

Signed,
The Hershey Bears

 

can confirm, we're shit

 

@Clutch l28l deserves the A+

Remove @skyre5 's + and give it to clutch. The guy is carried season in and out

 

Good write up, thank you for the kind words. More statuses coming your way

 

Lets not forget Rochester has lost beastly, breckeezy and Isaiah FOR NOTHING yet still a half decent team. Good write up @FrenchMoron , a little twist on it but I like the opinions lol, especially on dude boogie lmaooo

 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

@tranqzz let me be a manager So they can see both of our discord tags

 

@FrenchMoron I'll always tend your pipes <3

 

HMM

 

GRG needs me

 

Exposed