Please Vote! Most Mediocre Medal Winners

Here at Leaguegaming, the AHL is famous for being the maligned and mediocre step-child who will just never be quite good enough when compared to the league's favorite son/daughter, the NHL (It's 2021, I can't assume gender). Because of this simple fact, it was extremely difficult to narrow down this expansive list of mediocrity to discover the "Most Mediocre" standouts for season 38.

Note: I was requested to do an "Anti-Awards" for the playoffs, instead I mentioned doing "Mediocre Awards," but I also figured out a way to include some playoff teams. Enjoy!

Here's what I'm looking at to help determine who exactly is the Most Mediocre for each award category:

1.) Overall Record (I define mediocrity as having around a .500 record)

2.) Point totals

3.) Whatever other totally subjective criteria that I feel like using

Let's get started!

The Arizona Coyotes Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre team in the regular season)

Winner: Toronto Marlies
- Ah the Mediocre Marlies. Easy choice for Most Mediocre team for S38. Such high expectations, only for @Flynner1620 to fall into the pit of mediocrity. I'd also like to note this disgusting gamertag change by Broom smh

Runner-up: Palm Springs Firebirds
- Closest record to .500 in the league (38-37-3, 83 points). By definition they should be the most mediocre, but I'm honestly impressed they pulled off a .500 season with @Melvin x 94 as Owner. His AHL teams usually don't come close to sniffing mediocrity.

Second Runner-up: Belleville Senators
- Fake Buzzville finished a mediocre three games under .500 (36-39-1, 79 points). Team finished middle of the pack both offensively and defensively.


Mediocreception Medal
(Most Mediocre player on the Most Mediocre team in the AHL)

Winner: @Too Much Twoco
(14-12-2 with 26 points)
- Too Much Mediocrity here for Twoco. He helped manage the most mediocre team and had the most mediocre stats to match.

Runner-up: @Flynner1620
(10-15-2 with 52 points)
- Broom's stats aren't quite good enough to be mediocre, but he's Broom, so I'll allow it.

- Twoco and Broom are dreaming of having a less mediocre Summer season!

Most Mediocre Manager
(Awarded to the most mediocre manager in the AHL)

Winner: @The Broche
- Broche simply did nothing to help his mediocre team all season, but this also means that he didn't do anything to hurt his mediocre team either.

Runner-up: @HateCreation95
- Not knowing a simple playoff rule cost his team a game, and eventually the second round of the playoffs. This mediocre knowledge of the rulebook is worthy of runner-up here.

Second Runner-up: @Flynner1620
- Obligatory third mention of Broom. That is all. I promise this is the last time he'll be mentioned here.

- "MMMbop" aka MostMediocreManagerbop.

Montreal Canadiens Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre team to make the playoffs)

Winner: Rochester Americans
- One mediocre win in the playoffs (literally just one win, with a 1-0 score). It doesn't get much more mediocre than that.

Runner-up: Iowa Wild
- Such high expectations after winning the Presidents trophy, only to get bounced in round one. The Iowa Wild turned into the much more mediocre Iowa Mild.

Second Runner-up: Springfield ThunderBirds
- The Mediocre AHL certainly enjoyed seeing the self-proclaimed favorites medioceringly (Yes, I made this up) get bounced in round one.


Jeff Skinner Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre forward on a non-playoff team)

Winner: @Schwifty7
(13-11-2 with 44 points)
- "Schwifty Skinner" has a nice ring to it. No cups to his name, but you can take solace in the fact that you are now the proud owner of a Mediocre Medal.

Runner-up: @X Cross x11
(13-12-1 with 44 points)
- Playing your final eight games with Schwifty ruined your chances of surpassing him.

Second Runner-up: @Jelly x 35
(10-10-2 with 49 points)
- .500 record with a mediocre 49 points on the season. I suppose the AHL was ready for this Jelly precisely half the time!


Matt Duchene Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre forward on a playoff team)

Winner: @Dauntless x 29
(11-11-5 with 43 points, 1-1 with 4 points in playoffs)
- Mediocre .500 record in both the regular season and playoffs, with a mediocre 1.59 points per game in the regular season.

Runner-up: @TITOTHICMEAT
(11-10-5 with 48 points, 2-2 with 9 points in the playoffs so far)
- TITOMEDIOCREMEAT is the easy choice for runner up. Good shit maintaining mediocre status by following up with an 0-2 round two after a 2-0 round one.

Second Runner-up: @ElVraiPenguin
(12-12-2 with 48 points, 1-2-1 with 5 points in the playoffs)
- Yes, a French forward can actually be mediocre.


Tyler Myers Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre defenseman on a non-playoff team)

Winner: @GreasyReesey-
(12-12-2 with 11 points)
- The mediocre record isn’t much of a surprise for a forward making the swap to defense, but the mediocre point total certainly comes as a surprise. At least it sets the standard for mediocre defensemen.

Runner-up: @Christ l54l
(12-12-3 with 14 points)
- Jesus Christ these numbers are mediocre. Sorry Jesus, you slide in as number two here.

Second Runner-up: @GR1ZZI03I
(11-11-3 with 17 points)
- Nice to see this Griz picking up the mediocre slack in the AHL for all of Grizkind, since @GrizGoal decided to bring his mediocrity to the NHL!


Michael Matheson Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre defenseman on a playoff team)

Winner: @Spacelessbark
(12-12-2 with 27 points, 1 OTL in playoffs)
- There were plenty of choices for most mediocre playoff dman, but the measly 1 overtime loss in the playoffs put Bork over the edge.

Runner-up: @Savage_kiills
(11-11-4 with 17 points, 1-1 with 1 point in the playoffs)
- The mediocre playoff run for Iowa's most mediocre dman makes a solid case for runner-up... Plus you're friends with @aCanadianGamer so that definitely helped to seal the deal.

Second Runner-up: @HateCreation95
(12-12-2 with 25 points, 2-2-1 with 4 points in the playoffs)
- Hate certainly Created plenty of mediocre play on the ice this season!


Matt Murray Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre goalie on a non-playoff team)

Winner: @Z3R0CR45H
(20-20-3 with .740 sv% and 3.60 gaa)
- Zero was the only goalie in the AHL to finish with an even .500 record. When combined with his mediocre statline, he's the easy choice for most mediocre goalie.

Runner-up: @K U C H x 86
(20-19 with .771 sv% and 3.18 gaa)
- Kuch spent eight weeks on a Palm Springs team that finished one point over .500, so it's no surprise to see Kuch just one game over .500 himself. The matching mediocre statline didn't hurt his case.

Second Runner-up: @PitcheRxSwaGx
(19-18-6 with .771 sv% and 3.29 gaa)
- The fact that Pswag was the highest paid goalie in the entire AHL helped him stand out over plenty of other worthwhile competitors for the third spot. His magnificently mediocre numbers didn't hurt either.


Sergei Bobrovsky Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre goaltender on a playoff team)

Winner: @Clavet I29I
(14-11-4 with .747 sv% and 3.33 gaa; 1-2-1 with .760 sv% and 4.44 gaa in playoffs)

Runner-up: @TnP x DaRkStaR
(19-13-7 with .731 sv% and 3.52 gaa; 2-2 with .691 sv% and 4.22 gaa in playoffs so far)

Second Runner-up: @I CAPNASTY I
(10-10-4 with .799 sv% and 2.96 gaa; 0-1 with .647 sv% and 6.01 gaa in playoffs)
- Most playoff goalies had solid regular season stats, and these three were clearly the most mediocre of the bunch. One thing is clear however, the mediocrity of these guys hasn't made much of a difference for their respective teams in the playoffs. Darkstar is the only one of these three goalies still remaining in the playoffs.


Gary Bettman Medal
(Awarded to the most mediocre BOG in the AHL)

Winner: @Nekski
- Bettman is bad, but certainly not the worst man in charge of a major sports league. Nobody would ever really complain about the work that Nekski does as BOG, but also nobody knows that you exist, so that's pretty mediocre.


Note: You're probably wondering why @Mxckie isn't the winner here, but he's clearly less than Mediocre.

Most Mediocre Gamertag

Winner: @Averageboy
- I mean your gamertag is literally a synonym for mediocre.

Runner-up: @Mild Spice
- Who in the actual f*ck wants their spices to be a mediocre mild?

Second Runner-up(s): Everyone who uses an "x" instead of a vowel in their name. Fxck you @Mxckie @Smxrsh- @Nxgi @McAvxy @l Hxmel l @Nxuf @Lemxeux @Debrxsk @Tetrxault @Brxndamour @ZxC l88l @Fedxrov @Cronkxy @Zxnerrr @Vachxnsky @Mxzzin @Mixter Kal @vGrxmpy @vBxnditt @ItsJxyDee @Faxcher @Mugfxrd


Another Note: There is not a single AHL G with an extraneous "x" in their name, so perhaps we can begin the process of considering them people?

Final message from your mediocre award show host:

Unfortunately your mediocre award writer seems to have misplaced the "winners" mediocre participation medals (yes, you're mediocrity isn't even worthy of a participation trophy, just a shitty medal that you won't even be getting). I apologize for nothing.

 

Highest paid dog shit shitter here

 

The pictures that are included in these write ups are always amazing. Good work

 

See you all in the N next season.

 

@cabcavlax1 13-12-3 19 pts

very mediocre season here

 

Agreed. You sir were 5th on my list.

 

Brilliant work. Never any half measures from Bossy.

 

lol that was a good read

 

very nice write up bossy

 

damn just when i thought i escaped this post i got hit with the fxck you, hate to see it. Nice write up though!

 

Great writeup pal! Next year I'll aim for the award and not runner up lmao I can always do worse!

 

Great writeup! and thanks for the award. so when do i expect the trophy points to be added to my LG record? also shoutout to @Rubber McDucky and @XenoSZN for helping me get the award

 

holy shit this was well written

 

Thank you sir. My goal was for everyone who read it to forever be sick of seeing the word "mediocre"

 

The x isn't replacing a vowel though.

Cronkzy.

First to switch it up, everyone else.

 

come on my 6mil and 45pts doesnt get any kind of mention, i couldnt even win an anti award, why even live at this point

 

I know, just had to include it because it's still completely unnecessary lmao

Sorry, you must've been carried to a record that brought you slightly above mediocre status. Maybe next season will be your year!

 

My buddies a troll and made a "Cronkzy" tag and forgot the password, I'm sure it'll be changed before next Season lol

 

This is really great media Bossy. This is the kind of fun stuff that people appreciate and it’s really well formatted and done!

 

@RoWsKi is such a mid player