Totally Wholesome, In No Way Toxic, Brutally Honest Pre-Season Power Rankings - East Edition

Disclaimer: I don't know every LG player, nor have I even seen majority of them play, so I fully expect this write up will have its inaccuracies, likely many. At the end of the day this is purely for entertainment purposes, don't get too butthurt, or do if you want, it's funny. ​

Well I'm back putting way too much time into a write up for an online video game league, when I should really be doing my English homework, but fuck it I'm bored.

To rank these teams I'm going to give each a grade tier from S to F, along with a brief summary of my thoughts. I won't be ranking my own team.


Tier Definitions
- S: Among the favorites to win the Calder.
- A: Serious contenders; expected conference finals appearance.
- B: Playoff team.
- C: Fringe playoff team.
- D: Bottom half of their division.
- F: Complete disaster, 3-5-1 is considered a good week. Expect several bans, potential for management to quit mid season.

Eastern Atlantic
Belleville Senators: B
The management group and free contracts are solid so I don't see a scenario where the Sens miss the loffs, but I just don't see great depth at any position. Because of this and what @xDoer3 brought up in his write up, that some of these guys haven't played their respective positions in quite awhile, if ever, I can't rank them as a bona-fide contender.

Charlotte Checkers: D
Yeah I'm not sure about this one. There's some okay players here, but just okay. @JCpens22 is on his seasonal 500k contract and whole that's a good price for him, I feel he's always expected to be more than he is. The rest of the defense is meh, I think they overpaid for @Pawdiddy, feel that money would of been better spent elsewhere. @yorsini07 is decent with the right people, but I wouldn't want to be relying on him for wins. The defense is not good in my opinion, there's some okay-ish players, but some of them are west. Also not sure why you'd bid 1.75m on the waiver bait that is @HoodedMerc.

Grand Rapid Griffens: A
Yeah, in a vacuum the defense is somewhat questionable, but with how good their forward core is I think it's a non-issue, and if it is I can see them pick up one or two serviceable guys via trade. NHL 22 isn't hard to play defense on if you're not complete dog water, and with how good these forwards are it'll take a lot of pressure off the D to begin with. Definitely see this team being in contention for the top of their division, and the Calder.

Laval Rocket F:
More than half this team has never once been above .500 in the A. They will literally play zero defense. I've seen this same team constructed multiple times give or take a few players and it always turns out a disaster. I expect at least 2-3 bans within the first 3 weeks.

Providence Bruins B:
Similar to Laval, I've seen variations of this core many times, they always hover at 4-7 in their division. This version of the team is a little different with @MxttyIce97 and @xMafio-67 running the show instead of just being players. It looks less like just a team full of buddies and moreso like they actually tried to build a good team. On paper this team looks quite good, but I have my doubts if they have that extra gear that would elevate them. I do see this team being able to grab the last playoff spot in this division over teams like Rochester due to their experience.

Rochester Americans C:
The reason I ended up giving these guys a C is it's just too many players yet to prove themselves outside of the C. Yes, I admit most of those aforementioned players on this team have phenomenal CHL stats, but that doesn't always immediately translate to wins in the A. If it had only been a couple I wouldn't have given it much thought, but having 7 players that are all brand new to the A on the same team at once is risky.

Syracuse Crunch S:
This is how I like to see players that are new to the A be implemented, be that DPs or a bid on a player you think has potential. Syracuse is comprised of very experienced players and their management is superb, so integrating new players is a lot smoother and less stressful process for all parties involved. Syracuse, for me, is a lock for no lower than 2nd place in this division, I'll give them the edge over GRG as I think there defense is a few ticks better.

Toronto Marlies D:
I mean, they'd be a good CHL team. There's only a few players here that have ever even played in the A, not even mentioning if they were good in the A or not. I don't see this team finishing any higher than 6th in their div, I'm guessing 7th right ahead of Laval.

Eastern North
Bridgeport Islanders D:
It's going to be another bad season for the Islanders, this team just ain't it. It's like they had it in their heads to get @ll_19-Toews and then that was it. Their centers outside of Toews are non-existant: there's @Just_HeinZ, who they paid 2.5M to, with a combined record of 14-29-3 with a +/- of -57 over S16 and 17; then there's @JDHogg7813 who was 5-18-1 26pts -49 in the C so, I mean.. Yikes.

Chicago Wolves A:
Defensively this team has taken a step back in my opinion. With that being said, they still have the best free contracts in the A, they always get steals in bidding, and they know how to get the most out of their players. They lost a couple players up front, but what they have is still above average. I think this team will still be very successful, but I think the games will be a lot closer than they have been in the past.

Cleveland Monsters B:
I'm not as high on this team as others, don't get me wrong, I think they'll finish somewhere in the top 3 of their division, but I don't see them as the face of this division. I think the reliance on the DPs is a little on the heavy side, but @xDoer3 is an excellent manager so I foresee them figuring it out.

Hartford Wolfpack B:
These guys are the defending Champs so have to give them their respect, but the defense is VERY questionable. I definitely see these guys making the playoffs and winning a round, potentially 2, but I don't see another cup run from this team as it's constructed currently.

Hershey Bears B:
I honestly think these guys are more of a C-Tier team, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt considering their success last season. Personally, I think there's a lot of questionable players on this roster, but that's every roster this season it seems like. If I had to predict a seed for them I'm thinking 3rd or 4th.

Lehigh Valley Phantoms D:
I was extremely close to giving this team an F rating but decided against it, I won't be surprised if this team turns into a complete shit show though. This defense is a complete and utter abomination, the GRG offense wouldn't be able to outscore the number of goals this D core will let up, and this offensive core is nowhere near that talent level. This team will struggle to go 3-6 every week all season long.

Utica Comets C:
I think the roster in a vacuum looks okay, but knowing some of these players I don't see them finishing any higher than 5th or 6th.

Wilkes-Barre Scranton Penguins C:
I wanted to give these guys a B because it's hard for me to see this management group finishing out of the playoffs, but I don't see all that much depth here for me to grade them above some other teams in this division. Wouldn't be surprised if that end up in the playoffs though.

What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? What would yours be?

West tomorrow.

 

To be fair, this is English.

Excellent write up, always appreciate formatting vs just a wall of text.

 

Any media is good media, thank you for the write up!

 

Love this. much appreciated coke!

 

I shall improve

 

@Cokenetsxv are you making one for the west?

 

More media please, inject LG media into my veins

 

Imagine losing to a “C” team

 

"in a vacuum"

 

I approve of this message

 

@Cokenetsxv Even if I do not agree with some of your assessment, I'm glad that you've explain why you gave X note to X team. Cannot wait for you to get beat by my F club then

 

Excellent write up! My only nitpick is that you’ve got 11 teams technically in the playoffs by your tier definitions. Fringe should make up for that though. Great work, you clearly thought this out.

(Figured I’d give you an English teacher’s review, haha)

 

Great media

 

Western Conference does not exist