20 Thoughts w/ Goonderk is supposed to be reminiscent of the 31 Thoughts that Elliotte Friedmann regularly does. Essentially all of this is my opinion and written somewhat for humor or just to raise some points. However, I am all-knowing so you should take what I've written as fact. Continue downwards for your toilet read. 1. Our LG overlords have swiftly handed down the punishment to the rulebreakers @x Hendry 91 and @TurboYuri for... changing positions? Both received a one-week suspension due to @x Hendry 91 playing "forward" and @TurboYuri covering for him. If the VODs are still there... well I've heard the evidence is damning. However, I don't really care to speculate on whether the players are guilty or not. 2. That does raise an interesting issue, though. Everyone always wants to go cheaper in bidding. The path of least resistance is usually just being as toxic as possible every season, but the idea that you can be a 9 mil forward and sign up on defense and have 1/3 off your value taken off despite essentially playing the same role is probably something the league would want to avoid. Maybe to avoid people trying to copy this strategy, the league seemed to quickly hand out the punishment. 3. It would seem that this "position swapping" also sort of violates that the league is a "position lock" league, though I'm not sure that the intent of that rule matches the situation that has come up. I've been told by an inside source that the next offense carries a terrible punishment, a random owner will get to place any player they want on the Flyers and they'll be forced to play him. 4. The other way people somewhat manipulate bidding is to sign up knowing they'll be missing several weeks and have their bid price reflect that allowing them to sign a multi-season deal at their lowered price. Not really that bad as long as said person will actually be gone for that period of time. It's been done in the past and people don't seem to have THAT much issue with it. 5. Which brings us to a current Jets player, @l1l Bones l3l . He claims he is going to Europe over the next few weeks, but has anyone seen the plane ticket? Does anyone close to him know if he has packed a suitcase? Will the Jets be the next organization punished for circumventing the cap?! 6. Speaking of the JETS, the Central Division has an often talked about team in it, the Chicago Blackhawks. You might remember them after @Really Good Dad predicted the playoff teams and listed the Hawks as a bubble team. Where are they at, you ask? Well, they're 10th in West and just a point outside of a playoff spot. Does that make them.. dare I say it... a bubble team? 7. Everyone knows that the standings after one week are practically ironclad. When I reached out to a Blackhawks player and asked about their week I was met with a fiery response. "Well, we beat your fkn team." - Anonymous member of the Chicago Blackhawks 8. That brings us to our first edition of FIX YOUR STATS. On a team that certainly expects a high level of play, one of the Hawks has been underperforming in a key area. @MrMalice25 has been decent in the dot in his last few seasons as a center, but this week he hasn't had the required level of focus. He's been just 23/68 for a paltry 33.8% thus far. When I reached out to a teammate for comment, they responded with the following: "Yeah, he told us he switched to NHL94 controls because it was way easier to win faceoffs like that, but I guess he was wrong?" - Anonymous member of the Chicago Blackhawks With that being said @MrMalice25 , FIX YOUR STATS! 9. We have to talk about another team that has huge expectations going into this season. The Edmonton Oilers start off a perfect 9-0. Not only that, but they've allowed just FOUR GOALS in those 9 games. Now some of you might ask, are they cheating? It's very likely, but I haven't spotted anything yet. 10. Unfortunately, this brings us into a bonus edition of FIX YOUR STATS. Wily veteran @jackD00P has had some incredible offensive seasons including an 83-point season back on NHL 17. He was able to score 28 goals last season despite being a journeyman to many of the leagues' struggling teams. However, the season has started off bright going 3-0, except that he has only been able to record one point, a single goal (game winner nooottt a big deal) in those 3 games. He's on pace for 9 points this season... @jackD00P FIX YOUR STATS! 11. Let's talk about a team that everyone is obviously very excited about. The New York Rangers are 5-3-1 after their first week. Their French line went a hotly contested 1-1-1 which according to their fearless leader will be one of their worst weeks. The top line went just 1-2-0 which will have to be improved upon, but 11 points per week would almost certainly land the Rangers in a playoff spot at the end of the season. 12. But oh no! Wait a minute! We're in double bonus territory here! A third appearance of the popular segment FIX YOUR STATS. Elite puckmover @trevwings has found himself in interesting territory. He's got more giveaways than half his teams forwards and is tied for the least takeaways among defensemen that have played in at least 3 games. I was unable to reach management for an official comment, but here's what I gathered. "Yeah I mean, I would have liked to touch the puck I guess? But he gets really serious and has this strange look in his eye... so I thought I should just keep quiet." - Anonymous NYR linemate "Well, we thought maybe he was colorblind? Like red-blue or something, so maybe he couldn't tell the difference between Isles, Canes, Devils, and Rangers jerseys? Then we realized that he'd still be able to contrast that with the white away jerseys, so we're not really sure what's happening." - Anonymous member of the New York Rangers 42 giveaways and 2 takeaways? @trevwings FIX YOUR STATS! 13. Speaking of crazy stats, are there more blowouts than usual? Toronto beats the Bruins 7-0, Rangers beat the Islanders 8-2, Devils beat Canes 7-1, and seriously the list goes on. Definitely has been a bit more offense, though still relatively little with two evenly matched lineups. 14. Oh yeah, and the Red Wings beat the Lightning 10 to NOTHING. And yeah ok whatever it's just 10 goals right? The Lightning had ONE SHOT. I mean talk about trying to get the perfect opportunity. They must have wanted to get a perfect shooting percentage, and when that first shot didn't go in, they just said "Oh well, maybe next game." I at least hoped they had gotten trapped out of their minds and had like 20 seconds time in Detroit's zone, but they had 3:28! AND ONE SHOT. Whatever. 15. There's only been a single trade so far. Vegas sends @Flow Sauce Chew to the Kings for @Sty l27l which isn't necessarily a blockbuster. Vegas needs a spark and probably a different playstyle for their team, and they also shave 750k of cap which is always nice. The Kings get a more defensive player and probably don't care too much about the cap considering they had 4mil in cap space. Trade Rating: Even 16. Seriously, though, that was the ONLY TRADE. What a super weak edition of the weekly trapes, might as well be the weakly trapes. Who do I blame? I feel like blaming @ShortyxLOSE , but it must be the owners and managers of this league that are letting it go downhill. I mean one trade? I guess everyone had perfect weeks then? No one wants to improve their team? 17. Speaking of the league going downhill, one owner has reportedly hinted he is on his way out the door. The Penguins suffered a tough forfeit loss to the Red Wings on Wednesday night which may have caused @brandovedo to rethink his decision about taking a free contract on the Penguins. This is the most recent managerial debacle on the Penguins since @Duggan left the organization in the middle of a press conference. 18. The Penguins suffered another forfeit this week, and plenty of other teams have fallen victim to the forfeit rules. With all the sporting events going on this week, it does make sense people don't want to waste their time. The obvious response is that if you show up on time this shouldn't happen. However, the rules are sort of captivating as they are right now. Of course I would wait a couple extra minutes after the :10 mark if I get to start with a 5 on 3 powerplay!!! Sort of an interesting duality with the rules where they are encouraging you to take a forfeit, but rewarding you for not taking one. 19. Time to name the rookie of the week. Definitely going to pick @Steeler8820 on this one. Maybe he didn't have the toughest competition, but himself and rookie linemate @T R I C K x9 were able to provide a significant amount of offense this past week. @Steeler8820 ended up with 6 goals along with 10 points and gets the big 3-0 his first week. If I had a runner-up to this mostly meaningless award, I'd go with @XenoSZN because my heart says so. 20. Not much of a thought, but I don't know what media there will be or who else is doing what. If you want this to continue hit a rating or vote in whatever I make my poll question. If I continue to do them, Saturday would probably be the day I post them in the future. If you have any suggestions, keep them to yourself. Jajajaja just kidding comment or hmu on the site.