Comparing EASHL to NBA Players

Me: "Kevin Love is the equivalent of a small games player."

@OvenMitts19 : "Kevin Love is Bolduc."


Thus, a best-selling dynasty was born. The realization that Kevin Love is Bolduc, Bolduc is Kevin Love, set off a 6-hour debate in which NHL players are accurately compared to NBA players. Some will be given a brief explanation and others will be left up to your imagination, but a lot will be pretty obvious.

*This is the collection of a number of opinions not just my own.

If you believe you have a great NBA comparison, please post it below. If it's deemed worthy of the list, the EASHLNBA committee will approve and update the current roster.

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@Bolduc x l99l → Kevin Love

• Explanation: Good small games player, crumbles in the bigs.

@Lundqvist 30 NY → Stephon Marbury

• Explanation: Refer to today's article in NY Daily, "Stephon Marbury says he wouldn't return to Knicks 'at gun point'."

@SJUSoccer9 → Ricky Rubio

@Kodyyy → LeBron James

• Explanation: Generational talent, and "LOOOOOK AT THEMMMM" (e.g. LeBron throwing his usual tantrum over a foul).

@Nuge → "White Chocolate" Jason Williams

• Explanation: Does a bunch of random shit then ends up running into the camera man basically.

@x SMP 7 x → Tim Duncan

• Explanation: His guy is so slow and stupid looking but he's incredibly effective

@RoasTT → Jeremy Lin.

• Explanation: That time he was unstoppable for two weeks.

@JERZ Network → Shawn Kemp

• Explanation: Dominant when he's not in his morbidly obese phase

@Bouch 26 → Derrick Rose

• Explanation: Great player when healthy but always hurt (e.g. broken XBOX, mom won't let play, etc.)

@officialmark07 → Gary Payton

• Explanation: Good guard who is a massive troll/shit talker.

@OvenMitts19 → Draymond Green

• Explanation: Great all-around but not afraid to throw a nut shot, as well as talks a ton of shit.

@UnholyB → Magic Johnson

• Explanation: Great player, but AIDS. (sorry man)

@TJHaly eLv → Darko Milicic

• Explanation: Top pick in the draft, worked 24/7 but never really amounted to anything.

@SethMFinRollins → Metta World Peace

• Explanation: Changes his name once a week, always suspended, runs around trying to hit people.

@FiGS42 → James Harden

• Explanation: All offense, 110% of the time. Pulled a hammy that one time he tried to play defense.

@Dos Peso → Charles Barkley

• Explanation: One of the all-time greats in his playing time, good for a ridiculous sound bite once every 5 months as a retiree.

@Oo TheMvp oO → Reggie Miller

• Explanation: Corner 3 sniper.

@ImNakedKissMe → Hot Sauce from AND1

@NeNe → Karl Malone

• Explanation: Fantastic all around player, never won SHIT.

@DDW4 → Russel Westbrook

• Explanation: Gets the puck up top then does like 47 moves driving to the net like a nut job.

@Leafy → Lisa Leslie

• Explanation: Woman. Can dunk.

@Goal1e → Jason Collins

@lL lE lF lT lY → Nate Robinson

• Explanation: Plays basketball but would rather be playing football or some shit (e.g.hating NHL and trying to go pro in Smite).

@act1veD → Ben Wallace

• Explanation: Shutdown defender, fucking dog shit offensively.

@G lR ii M x → Former Clippers Owner

• Explanation: Racist AF.

@Odieeeeee → Ex-Ref Tim Donaghy

Yargage → Steve Kerr

• Explanation: Great analytics coach, pretty shitty player.

@Tyy & @Jewell x 96 → Pau & Marc Gasol

@Haunted Avocado → Tristan Thompson

@Lt Jim Dangle 9 → Vince Carter

• Explanation: Used to dunk with the best of 'em.

@Ozzyng2 → Yao Ming

• Explanation: Elected to the Hall of Fame for no good reason at all.

@x1x Datsyuk x3x → Seth Curry

• Explanation: Brother living in the shadow of the superior brother.

@xAyohh & @EagleEyeFoley → Markieff & Marcus Morris

• Explanation: Brothers. Both suck, just one a little less than the other.

NickJRE → Demar DeRozan

• Explanation: Puts up numbers because he takes a thousand shots a game.

@DaNextOne → Ray Allen

• Explanation: Former great that now jumps from team to team looking for a ring.

@NickyDubya → Matt Barnes

• Explanation: Wants to fight you IRL.

@goldbud24 → Shawn Marion

• Explanation: Incredibly unorthodox yet still effective.

@Internet Hockey → DeMarcus Cousins

• Explanation: Solid talent but an inevitable head case to deal with in your organization.

@MattTheCoolCat → Brian Scalabrine

• Explanation: You're welcome, Matt.

@Trobs → 1994 Chicago White Sox Michael Jordan

• Explanation: All he really wants is attention.

@Coach Denham → Dion Waiters

• Explanation: The ultimate thinks he's a dominate force, but not so much in reality.

@Rehanek → Mario Hezonja

• Explanation: Flashy young player, great tricks on film that don't translate to substance yet.

Copyright © EASHLNBA Committee 2016
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I think you meant @SethMFinRollins and @x1x Datsyuk x3x

 

My apologies @Frankeeeeee & @Datsyuk x I13I .

 

Who's Delonte West?

Great article.

 

Accurate.

 

10/10

 

@Coach Crass Mark Cuban, always gets fined and tons of people hate him when he complains about the officials not following the rules.

 

Someone do me

 

Offended I didnt make this list.

 

Josh Childress, leaves the NBA for China (NHL for the ahl)

 

I'd rent a @NickyDubya vs @Nuge ppv

 

I'm Michael Jordan. SQ = 1995-96 Bulls

 

Believe @mfrichardson already called me Richard Jefferson. And it does indeed fit

 

This is kinda like giving yourself a nickname, it's frowned upon. But we've decided to make an exception.

Trobs → 1994 Chicago White Sox Michael Jordan

Explanation: All he really wants is attention.

 

Find a player who always loses game 7, that'll be me

 

Dolphtlef Schrempf?

 

I had to search up Mario Hezonja

 

That's the point

 

Thanks for adding me @SuperMain but we all know I am the most dominant force.