No Trade Claus Throughout the history of sport, rare is it that an athlete can avoid the scouting spotlight through the duration of their development. Especially in todays day, with so many forms of communication and technology, the information age has lead to even more thorough scouting so it is nearly impossible for any players of top grade talent to sort of slip through the cracks and stay in the shade if you will. Do you believe in UFOs? You know the creepy eight tentacled beings vessel of choice? Me neither, not until it happened. On the night of May 23rd 2016 at approximately 10:34PM while engaged in a hockey game with the Rockford Ice Hogs I experience what I believe to have been a close encounter with alien life form. As our defensemen @McLean-16 played the puck up to me on the right side boards, I came into retrieve it by the half-wall. Checking my surroundings to be sure I was clear of enemy players I made certain I was. And then.... Bam something had came flying in out of nowhere, stripped me of the puck, made a mockery of our defense and then made our goalie look like he was playing twister after drinking a bottle of scotch. On one of the dirtiest tuck plays I've ever seen, a life form never witnessed before came flying in and almost single-handedly laid waste to our entire team. License plate "Claus". Enter @JClaus33 . And this guy for all intents in purposes was a UFO up until recently. But now he is fully identifiable and I'm pretty sure by now the whole league knows his name. And at this rate it won't be long until our kids are asking for a J.Claus jersey for Christmas. He comes in and sinks his "Claus" into his opponent scoring what seems to be almost at will at the same time showing impressive vision to find open teamates for the high quality chance. Often times players of this caliber tend to be "one-dimensional", but Claus plays both ends of the ice, back-checking, playing defense, mucking it up all while making the team around him better. Apparently the Lex Luger of the hockey pond. Bursting onto the scene and taking the league by storm, this creature has a whopping 92 points in 17 games. Split between 54 goals and 38 assists his 92 point total with a +59 thus far is nothing short of incredible. Claus, on pace to easily eclipse all league scoring records both in goals and points held by @Ethos Jinx and @Theos_l7l respectively, E.T is making previous league titans seem like mere mortals. By now we all know the name, he's made sure of that. He and his team have quickly established themselves as the front runners in this league. @JClaus33 is the engine that keeps the alien IceHog ship flying, the question at this point has to be whether or not anyone can bring him and his tenticled friends - back down to earth.
You know, @ryno1354 is going to be jealous at all this attention being paid to Mr Claus. I'd watch out, Vibez. Ryno may be after you!!
@tsibs88 hop off my dick, but good write up, but you may want to rewatch the tape, i aint see that defense anywhere...
I think its going to be a private ceremony. They don't want Ryno barging in trying to stop that happy couple from marrying!!
Jesus @JClaus33 your dick must be sore from all this stroking, I feel a god like presence just commenting on the same forum thread as ye. I'm not worthy..
