Post Bidding Reviews (Just to be Frank Edition)

Okay guys, I smell a long shit a brewin so I finally have the peace and quiet I need aside from the few splashes I'm about to make on this here white porcelain. First off as per the usual I give zero fucks about anyone's input and thoughts on what I'm about to say about each team's bidding efforts. If you can't handle criticism odds are you're a pussy. So henceforth prepare to be ridiculed and maybe praised if I see fit.




Ana(L)heim Ducks @Kryss85 , @xKillhouse , @Viva La Rangers

This team fucking blows. Like I literally threw up in my mouth when I saw how much money was thrown in @Williams x12x 's direction. Don't get me wrong his wife's hott but thas about it. There's some poser @Legendary JERZ on the team that I'm shocked the idiots in management there didn't think was the actual @JERZ Network.

Worst Contract: Covered
Best Contract: n/a


Arizona Coyotes @STlCK , @Kopi , @Stewkos

A lot of depth up front in this line up. @xRICKOSHAY on fwd's almost always a mess but at least they didn't overpay for him. Defense is questionable but any team that has Stick and Fox on it always seems to at least sniff playoffs and some glue at times.

Worst Contract: @Spooer69 - sometimes I think he plays with his eyes shut.
Best Contract: @Okie Dokie Alky- StonedBeliever, haven't seen that name in a minute.


Boston Bruins @Phillyboy899 , @Sejje 19 , @Notorious lll

Another team that chose a decent offense over defensive ability. @Sejje 19 is the most unorthodox mother fucker in the league. Find me someone who enjoys playing defense against this guy. Mr. game 7 @Jemima eating up a big chunk of change but brings some playoff experience to the squad. They also have an added AIDS effect with @Auto Jets .

Worst Contract: @BacKLuND x 22 - this pimply fuck for 6.5 get the fawk outta here
Best Contract: @Sejje 19 for free is pretty solid imo


Buffa(Blow)lo Sabres @DDW4 , @Xx LoL xX 9 , @Rehanek

Don't let my nickname fool ya, these guys ain't fuckin around with their lineup. @Suter x 20 leading the defense with third line pair material in @ll pig ll "OINK" & @Ashes and Faith (Ashes and Shit)? Now for the offense which is stacked with @DDW4 , @Xx LoL xX 9 , @lL lE lF lT lY , @kcut 9 ,@Rehanek and that big steal in @QC Gargs . For the amount they spent on goaltending they didn't do too bad either.

Worst Contract: n/a
Best Contract: @QC Gargs- 750k for my man Gibby.


Calgary Flamers @brandovedo , @MattTheCoolCat , @Duggan

Another team with high flying O but very questionable D. The Black Mamba @FR0BE 8 returning really boost's this team's offense. Goaltending's pretty iffy for me because I'm unsure I've even played against these guys before. Also @KLAK will probably annoy the fuck out of these guys telling them stories about what he had for dinner 3 weeks ago.

Worst Contract: @KLAK- bescause he makes my ears bleed and sucks ass.
Best Contract: @FR0BE 8 - the returning vet is a known dunker so 3.5 is a steal.


Carolina Hurricant's @STL Bleeker , @Diabolic Viper , @l Landeskog l

Aside from my boy @Hine x 23 whose been inactive due to school, this team's pretty fucking homeless. @Lt Jim Dangle 9 plays with his controller upside down and a blind fold on. The management on this team pretty much explains the lack of thought gone into assembling this squad.

Worst Contract: @Lt Jim Dangle 9 - I would pay this nub to not play
Best Contract: n/a


Chicago Black(Cocks)Hawks @Th3 l AnD 0n1y , @Terry Toronto , @NfldTim

I feel like this is the summer of Offense oriented teams. Now that bidding's over, unless @Oo TheMvp oO is playing 3rd lines wtf were they thinking throwing over 10 mil at this guy? If @F1NL4ND 93 plays defense as good as he played G he will be a steal for this squad. @eyefish74 is another name that's worth more than $500k imo. @x BizNasty x deep throats hot dogs. Goaltending is strong with The Lord @Th3 l AnD 0n1y .

Worst Contract: @droughs if he were on fwd I wouldn't be crucial of how much Cash this guy's making. @Oo TheMvp oO obviously has one of the worst contracts
Best Contract: @x Crusty Jar x - this guy is a beast on draws and we've won a cup together


Colorado Avalanche @NewfieMiLLeR , @Mr JimmyG 89 , @y05hiii

This team just reaks of French fries and AIDS. Lot of guys on this team that are making a very questionable amount of cash.


Worst Contract: @Youngn the pmp is atrocious. 5.75 even in this shit bidding class has me puzzled.
Best Contract: @thankyoujaco is solid for the price


Columbus Blue(balls)Jackets @Potsy44 , @NukeBomb81 , @JEEEEEEBS

This team's pretty deep on fwd. Going to see a lot of cherry picking and straightlining with guys like @DaKrAzYkId & @hatemakerr leading the pack. Defense looks like shit to be honest. The Goaltending's also pretty strong.

Worst Contract: no comment
Best Contract: @DaKrAzYkId - this fucker plays like a jackass but for his contract and magical ability to turn the most AIDS shit into goals I gotta give him the credit he deserves for that price.



Dallas (Porn)Stars @Dannyy Briere , @JERZ Network , @Aerotonic

Where do I begin? I don't give a fuck about bias so here goes nothing! Due to a very shitty bidding class money had to be thrown at the few fwds with thumbs to match our stacked D core. Defense wins championships folks. Having two Norris caliber dmen for free is a recipe for success. Spending a combined 1.25 mil on 2 quality goaltenders is genius. As long as I don't throw any games I'd like to think 2.5 mil' a good price for me coming out of RFA.

Worst Contract: @Genooo because he FAWKIN sucks
Best Contract: @P3nzz this guy has some real impressive thumb skill. 2 mil is a fantastic price.


Detroit Redwings @a1xFREAKx13 , @bc bud024 , @KaBoBo

I think @a1xFREAKx13 is good at making successful teams but having to drag @bc bud024 around kinda makes this team into a pretender in my honest opinion. Mark's ego kinda fucked you guys. @Gala is a mouth breathing moron and sucks the air out of any team he's affiliated with. You also have fuckin Wario @dMerch ...

Worst Contract: @Gala the fart sucker himself. If I could bid negative dollars on this douchebag I would.
Best Contract: @Strizzy x06 not a bad price at all, plus he's a cool dude


Edmonton Oilers @Sir Batten , @Tendy , @Dunks

Probably one of the most well rounded teams in the whole LEE. This team is stacked with big name players. (@Fr33kOnTheStix , @Tendy , @Odieeeeee )Gonna be interesting to see Odie make the transistion to fwd. I think Tendy can help win him a selke. With Mr. Connor "Smythe" @CGH , @Sir Batten , @Gary Garoo & my boy @Dunks rounding out the top 4 d and that stud @JmOnEy2436 in net I can see a potential cup run with this squad.

Worst Contract: If the so-called top 5 lw @Bitetto02 went for anything over a mil then this would be him
Best Contract: @Odieeeeee due to bidding being AIDS and his undeniable thumbs you gotta give this to him


Florida Panthers @Dumba x 55 , @Stifmeister x 7 , @AJ Hendricks

Welp. I see some names I know and then I see a whole lotta French which can go one of two ways. Either they start out good or they lose a couple games and the frenchy rage sends this team into a downwards spiral. I honestly don't see @xAyohh lasting that long over there.

Worst Contract: @xAyohh this ain't Ps4. Ouch right in the ego
Best Contract: n/a


(Hollywood)Los Angeles Kings @SJUSoccer9 , @Kodyyy , @King Clement

Is the 3rd time the charm with this bunch led by @SJUSoccer9 ? With easily the most stacked offense in the LEE (@ImNakedKissMe , @Kodyyy taking over for @NeNe , @x SMP 7 x & @BooYA x 03 )and low priced but solid defenders coupled with some familiar faces in net I can see this team doing big things.

Worst Contract:n/a
Best Contract: @Hooter- I think this guy's a top line defender at a small price of 1 mil


Minne(Soda)Sota Wild @JohnGotti47 , @Globes , @StamToast

If you only observed the goaltenders this team would be considered great. But you take those two away and This team's about as atrocious as I thought it would be. The offense is filled with 3rd liners, a couple possible 2nd liners and @J a IMI e S x22 (only person worthy of the top line) The defense on this team doesn't even include a top defensemen. Prepare to have some serious back pain @StamToast & @X1xHeArLeYx2X .

Worst Contract: @StamToast I'm sorry but unless Hearley's being moved, spending above 2 mil on both tendy's is baffling to me.

Best Contract:n/a


Montreal Canadiens @Smitterr , @DudleyDoWright5 , @Jay Rulez


Another team that lacks any real top line talent up front. There are some good depth players in my fellow shit partner @Jay Rulez , @barneyrebel II , @Four Inch Bully , @kpy86 , @XxRitchie9xX . But other than that I see a lot of holes that need filling and I'm not talking sexually here.

Worst Contract: n/a
Best Contract: @barneyrebel II if he came out of bidding at this price he's definitely a steal imo



Nashville (Sexual) Predators @FlashDavin , @Nuge , @SuperMain


Team Hut guys is not looking too shabby. Still think it's hilarious that we cut Konz and he went for an extra mil. GOTEEE! Defense is a little sus on this squad. While overpriced, I think their goaltending is solid. @Nuge made a horrible game and I thought I'd remind him of that.

Worst Contract: @KingKonz- just sticking with my opinion that goalies are not worth over 2 mil. Basically like kickers in fantasy football, you shouldn't go full Re when investing in them. I.E Mini Soda.
Best Contract: @Gwan because good defense at a low price is a rarity.


New Jersey Devils @Chislett 19 , @The Gr8 Haxby

Hey look, MORE OFFENSE! They have that fuckin shitter @Buddy Roberts (Buddy Slobberts) Aside from @Pizzi the back end looks like AIDS. @JDoolus is going to have a heavy workload in front of him. The amount of back checking that isn't going to happen on this team will lead to its demise.


Worst Contract: @Buddy Roberts RAGE YOU FUCKIN PUSS
Best Contract: none really stand out to me tbh


New York Islanders @Kirito x58 , @Ehlers x 27

I've heard a lot of people bash my boy @Tcx7 for his $8mil. But they just don't understand the value of having leadership from a guy like Rico. Then I look at the defense and my god @Suck It D0nny I'm so sorry for what you have in front of you my friend. @BALLZY15 will resort to making shit jokes to try and compensate for getting coned multiple times. @HANDZAGOD is a pussy and reports people on xbl for putting him in his place.

Worst Contract: @m1st3r ped .. WHY RITO, WHY? 5 mil? Enjoy the Auto-Backskate
Best Contract: @mitch637 at 500k is a steal. Great fella and will surprise many this season in the goal column.


New York Rangers @Po1andsFinest , @Poooch , @Zincyyy


Another Stacked Offensive group with some questionable's on D. They also have the biggest flamer in the LEE in @JT l91l rounding out their 3rd line. Who will carry the straight as a circle this season? I like the bidding pick up of @WITNESS 513 . A game 7 fwd line consisting of @Po1andsFinest (Pooland), @Havok l93l and @WITNESS 513 will be tough to match. Of course another fellow Bomb Squad member in @Zincyyy between the pipes to make up for any defensive mistakes in front of him that he's used to with @xRICKOSHAY , @Pandaleupagus and I in front of him on The Boob Squad.

Worst Contract: @JT l91l because gay
Best Contract: @WITNESS 513 6 mil with the shit bid class is a solid contract


Ottawa Senators @Neat , @Sty l27l , @Some fat gezer


I don't see @EIVIE R ii CA x @DOLPHWEEEEEEEEN or @gundamfreedomx lasting more than maybe a few weeks tops over there before they request out. Despite my love for @Neat this team doesn't look very promising on paper.

Worst Contract: @Ravaqz - FUCK YOU

Best Contract: @gundamfreedomx even though he's probably going to pull a me and enforce his way out



Philadelphia Flyers @Handz , @Remnato , @il REX li

Even if the guys who seem to quit all the time @o WjD O , @il REX li stick around I don't see this team going very far. I'm a big @Remnato fan however. I think @Flow Sauce Chew will be moved to maybe help bring some more depth to the team. Goaltending isn't bad either.


Worst Contract: @MiS0 LEG3NdaRY - not only does he blow but my god is he annoying
Best Contract: Either of the two guys mentioned above because they're probably going to quit again.


P(Sh)ittsburgh Penguins @Deceasedgoblin , @x Braydenn , @Kbsmith37


Very solid D core, some under rated offense and decent goaltending. Look for this team to upset some top lines. Goblin getting rid of his almost 50% team salary was a good start. I see @bigleaguebala , where's Yargage? Is he going to coach the team instead and not force his AIDS skill upon them?

Worst Contract: n/a
Best Contract: @Deceasedgoblin for free is a steal to me


San Jose Sharks @AcesCracked17 , @GB521 , @Tayyzzz


With the @officialmark07 trade the already early favorites to make a deep playoff run have now all but guaranteed it. Assuming @Adams x 21 is able to play and doesn't require surgery their defense looks good. Fuck that @EliteHydroponix guy doe.

Worst Contract: @EliteHydroponix just because I think he's a FUPA
Best Contract: @GB521(GangBang521) is another free contract I'm big fan of. Also @Tayyzzz has a great price


St Louis Blues @At43 , @BH3 , @VK LethaLMyke


I'm sure you're all probably tired of me writing this by now but the offense looks great, defense Ehhh. @mfrichardson island strong enough to carry the load? Is @Pure Pone manly enough? How many selfies will @BH3 take? All that and more to look forward to this season!

Worst Contract: @RoasTT because he reminded me that he sucks farts
Best Contract: @Bknottz92 this guy deserved to get paid this bidding, wish he was a star.



Tampa Gay Lightning @SweeT 9 LoU 84 , @l 17 l , @Tom 0

As always Lou did a good job forming a quality team filled with assholes such as @Proud Gay Dad , @Lamont Dickens , @Tom 0 , @bjackedson , @DR0C . Then you got the 3rd line poundas in @l 17 l @DontEvenMaatta .
I think this team's poised to finish top 3 in the East.

Worst Contract: @Yung Jaq because he's coming off getting his ass beat by @JERZ Network
Best Contract: @Lamont Dickens Cake's Island is open for business!



Toronto Maple Queefs @BigJayAyotte , @cj142, @x LegendaryKev


@BigJayAyotte (Big Gay) has done it again. Drafting @jeff0012 was huge. A solid D core that includes my boy @Luffy Qc ! Assuming @aNNeFrAnkPiZZa1 has improved since the last I saw of him this team should be well balanced in all aspects.


Worst Contract: @hockeyman_16king because I think he's a piece of shit and a cancer.
Best Contract: @jeff0012 with that draft contract price.



Vancouver What The Fucks @Pavelski xl8l , @Glitch Goaling , @SPORTFREAK114


I swear anyone whose taken this team over has caught the AIDS, with the exception of that one time @STlCK @lF0Xl carried @NickyDubya to some success. This team will battle it out with the Losapeg a Jets for last place.


Contracts all suck



Washington Crapitals @Zero Choice , @Pandaleupagus , @SouPerSaiyan


Usually whatever Panda does management wise at the beginning of the season is pretty decent, but when the halfway mark of the season comes around expect to see some AIDS folks. Detect Lisp backing up @Zero Choice shall be entertaining. Due to bidding being Doo Doo butta, they had to throw some serious change at an inactive @G lR ii M x who hopefully won't run into as many big hits as he did the last time I played against him. I like the acquisition of a returning @Melroses Mullet for what I feel's the right price again because of bidding being shit.


Worst Contract: n/a just because I love Grim too much
Best Contract: @Skid Markie for not only underated skill, but nudes quality.


Losapeg Jets @Gulash l4l , @o Ima Boss 41 o , @Foote x 3


I love @Copes92 & @HeatFan53 . As well as @Foote x 3 & @GolSki40 . But that's about it. I think these guys are shipped out once the losses start racking up due to lack of depth.


Worst Contract: @Goal1e just because I know it'll rile him up
Best Contract: @Copes92 & @HeatFan53 a great combo that will rack up some serious points




Now that my ass and legs have fallen asleep, you all can tell me how you really feel. Also where the fuck's my light blue name? @F5 Penguin ????

 

Still mad eh? I fucking shut you down, maybe I'll send a herrocopter to come get you off my island. Do you have enough food and water?

 

Lol what's there to be mad about exactly? You suck.

 

Mad cause bad

 

Can confirm backlund sucks

 

Good write up and entertaining as always Frank! lol keep em coming

 

@Gala is a mouth breathing moron and sucks the air out of any team he's affiliated with. You also have fuckin Wario @dMerch ...

Worst Contract: @Gala the fart sucker himself. If I could bid negative dollars on this douchebag I would.

I can confirm, i do breathe with my mouth. I too would bid negative dollars on me.

 

If it was a bad move. Boz did it. But he did get Mitch so it counteracts I suppose.

 

Good write up

 

u didnt mention me u fuck

 

Very entertaining read lol.

 

It'd be an honor to one day play you in battleshits.

 

Worst Contract: @Yung Jaq because he's coming off getting his ass beat by @JERZ Network

In case anyone missed it....

 

dont talk bad about my team frank. @SethMFinRollins

 

Well for being the biggest dick in lg that wasnt to bad ....

 

I have my work cut out.

 

Great write up @SethMFinRollins

 

Well u mentioned winnipeg and Vancouver as battling it out for last....good news is we were left out of that list so there's a positive...enjoyable read though

 

ouch

 

Winnipeg is definently gonna end up in last place, all because @Goal1e is on the team. Congrats to @Gulash l4l for creating another horrible team. #AIDS