S.O.S

I was throwing newspaper into the bonfire tonight and decided to read 1 page of it. AND FUCK ME SIDEWAYS did I run into the most important thing of 2018. CHELmaster Pedro needs our help.

Pedro Chel Cobo, has been missing since 2017 and needs to be found. This is no joking matter. If we can find Chel I will not only donate him a copy of NHL 19, but I will also buy the founder a copy themselves.

Please, I URGE you to find this beauty of a child. To have the middle name “chel” is legendary, and he deserves to get another chance on the sticks.

NAME: Pedro Chel Cobo
FROM: Faribault, MN
DATE MISSING: 08/11/16
DOB: 07/14/99
SEX: Males
AGE: 18
HAIR: Black
EYES: Brown

PLEASE, if you find chel, call 1-800-THE-LOST. (1-800-843-5678)

 

This is probably my most favorite thing ever

 

I'm really not sure if this is fuckin' awful or fuckin' hilarious.

 

you deleted the best part of your comment

 

If only his middle name was packet then he would truly be lost.

 

I felt it was insensitive.