Shooters Shoot LGHL Media Edition, Shots/Turds/Rebounds

Ever have a nice cycle going but the opposing team is just being tactical (lame) and collapsing 5 in front of their net while you work the puck wide? So you keep moving it waiting for someone to chase the puck or pull themselves out of position by going for a hit or poke to open up a nice passing, skating or shooting lane for a scoring chance (the point of a cycle)

When all of the sudden one of your teammates goes ROGUE and lets fly a ripper from an area where they have no shooting lane, little to no chance of scoring from! How about when you pass it to the point to use the Defense to relieve some pressure off you, BOOM, low wrister on net or slapper for rebound or off an opponents shin pad. You let out a sigh and your teammate responds with "We NeEd PuCkS oN nEt! or shooters shot, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Michael Scott


Ever wonder if these the are type of guys when youre at hockey games just always yelling Shoot anytime your team has the puck in the offensive zone. Well now they are running wild in the World Of Chel, spreading their STRATS and frustrating teams everywhere when it works. They love their turds, tips, "rebound shots" and getting pucks on net bc ANYTHING can happen in the World Of Chel.


Positives +
+ a shot on net that could go in
+ a shot on net that leads to a rebound to a teammate
+ a shot that is saved and gets you an offensive zone faceoff
+ a shot that hits an opposing players and bounces and is picked up by your teammate in a scoring position
+ a shot that is saved and the defense tries to pick up the rebound but get caught in bad position or a shitty animation in which you can steal the puck
+ a shot that leads to the defense scrambling thus pulling themselves out of position

Negatives -
- makes the other team mad bc they think it takes no skill so they say 2 can play that game
- gives the other team the puck
- hits the opposing teams shin
- misses the net
- poked or blocked with the opposing team now going the other way with momentum
- loss of possession
- loss of the nice cycle you had going
- makes the other team play that way the rest of the game now bc they need to be infront to block shots and pick up rebounds


This style has been brought to you by the NUBS of New Gen who brought this fantastic style to the 6s community in NHL16 with moderate success and then with great success in NHL 17 and then was adopted by the TROLLS of the community to show "How bad the game is". Its was made popular by new school teams who were trying to find a way to take down top teams via defense first (5 Man Traps) and pucks on net such as Ice Breakers, Motor City Magic and The Dream Team and is now used heavily by a lot of teams who decided to adjust their style to compete or to just show how big of a joke the competitive Chel community has become by teams like Bomb Squad and Status Quo during an entire season of ESHL just to show how bad the game was/frustrate teams.

It was then adopted by multiple teams after they noticed the success of it and it spread like wild fire, one team in particular that never played that way and now does is the legendary Never Unlucky who dominanted the NHL 14/15 ESHL scene and is not rebranded DoG (who im told hasn't won anything since the Bush Administration - CJ142.) They use to be the best puck moving and attacking the net teams anyone has ever played against) and even they adopted this style so they can be competitive again.

It has now made its way to LGHL the last few seasons as we have seen GOALIES SV% sky rocketing across the board and the amount of shots a game increase more than ever before. Here is a look at those players leading the way right now with this innovative and creative new style that everyone in the Chel community just LOVES.


FWDS
@SurpriseMe22 60 SHOTS

7-1-1 ​

@cj142 53 SHOTS 9-0-0
@XxNash61xX 53 SHOTS 9-0-0
@BuddyWhackit7 53 SHOTS 5-2-2
@euroxhalfer 53 SHOTS 2-5-1 (ONLY 8 games played)
@AzDvo 50 SHOTS 3-4-2
@Rehanek 49 SHOTS 6-2-1
@Project EBZ 49 SHOTS 5-2-1 (ONLY 8 games played)
@Girgss 48 SHOTS 7-1-1
@Stifmeister x 7 47 SHOTS 6-2-1


Green = LW
Red = C
Blue = RW

DEF -
@Gazzerk 30 SHOTS 4-3-2
@JerseyDevils 27 24 SHOTS 4-5-0
@Joorrdan 23 SHOTS

4-3-2​

@Ragey23 22 SHOTS

5-4-0 ​

@Tom 0 21 SHOTS 7-3-0
@I HDC I 17 SHOTS

7-2-0 ​

@Terry No LOVE 17 SHOTS

5-3-1​

@Optehic 17 SHOTS

6-3-0 ​

@StamToast 16 SHOTS 6-3-0
@Proud Gay Dad 15 SHOTS 7-3-0

Teal = LD
Yellow = RD

 

HOW AM I NOT ON THIS LIST

 

I'm not surprised at who is leading the league in shots one bit. Go Knights.

 

adjust

 

Damn my record isn’t near everyone else’s for this list

 

When in doubt... Turd it out!!!

 

wow lou writes a whole turd article b/c i take 2 shots per game

 

nash and i have had heavy shot totals every season; i think the game has just finally adapted to us.

 

WOW I CANT BELIEVE NONE OF MY BRUINS ARE IN THIS LIST

 

Instructions are too tough. Last time my dick got caught in the toaster. Please help

 

Should have included Goals and Shooting % for Fwds.
#TurdsForLife

 

Having alot of shots is also a function of being on offense alot.

TOAD along with shots would paint a better picture

Also TLR

 

@Dr Yargage

I propose a new way of thinking that will revolutionize LG.. Need your help

Fuck goals .. obviously they aren’t a true test of skill

Instead, the winner of each game will be determined by a complex formula

Something like

1.5(TOA) + Goals + Passing Percentage squared divided by # of turds

 

Scoring goals is overrated

 

nothing brings me greater joy than watching someone on my team take the most random of shots

 

This list isn’t accurate.

You’re missing all the shoot first guys who get blocked or miss the net

 

Lil Pumps’ Gucci gang is an incredibly nuanced piece. The words "Gucci gang" are repeated exactly 53 times. 53 is a prime number. The sum of the first 53 prime numbers is 5830, which is divisible by 53. Very few numbers can boast this attribute. This is lil pump secretly showing he is actually a mathematical genius. 53 in hexadecimal is 35, which is 53 reversed. This property is only existent in multiples of 53. This shows his proficiency in computer science. 53 is also an Eisenstein prime, a subtle nod to the great scientist that lil pump is no doubt a prodigy of. While The words "fuck my teacher and call it tutoring" may be taken at face value, he actually means that he is fucking his teacher with his mind, actually tutoring his teacher. Lil pump brings a tiger in in his music video, he is showing how he is also a master of animal husbandry, and the tiger would never dare to attack a genius such as lil pump, instinctively knowing he is the future of humanity. Even his hair, which is in strings, actually shows his powerful physics knowledge, no doubt referencing string theory. How ever, the song also has darker connotations. When you take the number of dead in ww1, divided by 53, you get precisely 666,666.666 repeating. This can be explained by two theories. One, lil pump is a German monarchist satanist. Two, lil pump is comparing the German monarchist and by extension, Wilhelmin II to satanists; making a bold push back to the rise of neonazism, monarchism and white supremacy as a white man. Or perhaps lil pump is trying to confuse his audience, hiding the true meaning of his song. The world may never know...

 

lou youre a triggered, butthurt, hormonal snowflake anymore.....trade for me