The Bridgeport Chronicles part 1b. Reality Bites. Rated R

“Bent? Bent? BENT!”
In an instant, images of Cambodian boys and Lord Bon’s BDSM adorned pleasure palace dissipate into nothingness. In their place stood reliable rising star and all around good guy ‘All About Green’.
“Greenie? Wtf happened? It was all…all a dream? There was no Cambodian boy for me to bite? No Lord Bon BDSM chamber? Jesus what a pathetic literary copout.”

Greenie stared at me for what seemed like an eternity before saying “Bro…you gotta stop binge drinking liquid methamphetamine. You bit the kid so hard we had to hospitalize him. Bon kept saying ‘it’s just a joke Ben! It’s just a joke! Don’t actually bite him you fucking animal!’. It took like, nine of us clubbing you in the throat with hockey sticks to get you to release the poor boy. Lord Bon wants to see you again too.”

Gulp.

I actually thought the word ‘Gulp’ to myself even though I didn’t actually do it. I know that’s weird but didn’t you read what I said earlier? I’m on hard, mind altering narcotics so wtf do you expect? Now I still have a real good record, plus/minus stat and GA/TA ratio so I figured (again) that there’d be no trouble…but trouble there was.

“BENT! God-christ-dammit wtf is wrong with you son!?” came Lord Bons’ bellowing rebuke.

“You were crazy enough to think we were demanding that you bite a goddamn Cambodian boy? Even worse, I said ‘There was an error, you weren’t initiated’. Bent, how long have you known me?”

Time becomes immaterial when you are on mind altering psychotics so it felt like a day or two.

After thinking long and hard about how long it really was, I finally found my thought process being interrupted by Lord Bons’ impatience. “Shit son it wasn’t a fucking new mathematical proof that I was asking you for, I’m just asking how long you’ve known me.”

“Well, sir…tbh… time becomes immaterial when you are on mind altering psychotics so it felt like a day or two to me.”

“Goddammit Bent…” Bon rose from his chair and held out a bottle of clear liquid labeled “Meth from Math."

“Is this the drug you’ve been taking?”

“Yessir. It’s good shit. Commander Math knows his meth.”

“Do me a favor Bent…take a whiff of this. What’s it smell like?”

I lean in for a whiff, wary that this is another Cambodian conundrum. “Smells like nothing.”

Bon breathes in deep, looking like he’s ready to piledrive me into the ground. “Now take a sip. What’s it taste like?”

Not needing to be told twice to ingest some drugs I readily, greedily sip…pinky up. “Water sir.”

SMACK!

“That’s cuz it is water you fuckin imbecile! You bit a Cambodian boy, you actually believed that I could make a goddamn mistake and you weren’t even on hardcore drugs? And what’s this shit I hear about you forsaking your damn family for real? That was a joke you moron. For christs sake this is a video game, and we don’t even practice more than a time or two a week. Why in the hell would you need to quarantine yourself for that?”

“I don’t know, maybe I was looking for a reason to convince myself that I was the one who abandoned everyone that’s supposed to love me instead of the other way around. Maybe I pretended to be high all the time bc it made it easier to live this life where all I have going for me is this league. I could justify the countless hours spent grinding, playing drop ins shamefully just to get my fix when no one else is around. It’s like a drug sir and I can’t stay away from it. Can’t get away from the game.”

Bon stood there, looking at me the way I imagine a garbage man looks at a particularly pungent bag of trash. “Well that’s probably why you’re so goddamn good at this kid. But yea…you’re just kind of an asshole loser who spends way too much time playing this shit. Hey, that’s how you get good. You put the time in. You probably just shouldn’t forsake everything and everyone you love over it.”

So that’s it. That’s how you do well as a rookie dman on a top team folks. You put in some time. But remember…don’t do drugs, don’t bite Cambodians just to fit in and don’t forsake your relationships or life for this. Either you’re pro or you’re noob, that’s life.

I’d like to thank God and the society for the preservation of-

“BENT!!!!” Lord Bons scream shattered all thoughts of ending this story. “WTF R U DOING!? You haven’t left my office for days. Just stood there thinking to yourself, drooling and mumbling. We scheduled you to play against last place Providence because we thought we’d need to ECU your ass. Suit up, go prove that your wasted life has merit and beat up that team.”

Will bentbd2pointoh beat up that last place team and prove his life has merit? Will lord Bon clean up the puddle of drool in his office? Find out next time on the Bridgeport Chronicles.

 

Wow someone needs a job

 

Is your mom offering still? She gives the best jobs...ice cream maker