The Eastern Playoff Picture - Predictions and Playoff Songs!

Disclaimer: This thread was created for fun. Please keep your throbbing heads in check. Did this thread take more than 5hrs to make? Possibly.

It has been a long time since I have done one of these threads about anything related to the standings within the league. So "bear" with me and remember to click the videos to add to the flavor of this reading. This thread is going to be filled with succulent stat predictions and a chosen playoff song as well for each team in the East. Cuz honestly, fuck the West. Just kidding West, what I think I meant to say was go fuck yourselves.



I don't think theirs enough time in the day to do one for the West because this thread took hours to create and I have to practice for tonights games soon! So without further ado, this is how I see the end of the season for the East.

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Eastern Atlantic
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1. Hershey Bears ::: 82gp 52W 22L 8OTL 112pts
1. Hershey Bears ::: 69gp 42W 20L 7OTL 91pts

I will admit that I wasn't too sure about Slanted and Ego when I first got to Hershey but holy crap have they broke out of their metapods and become beautiful butterfrees. Hershey had 1 losing week all season, (the week before I got their eh?) and that was week 2. I feel like our only weak link on Hershey is Daddy Halfrican who none of us like. He's literally just here for the wins, the guy is the only chilly on a team of orange and red. (jk... I love you Daddy mmm i'll see you later) Hershey has an easy week 9 where I expect to see my team finish the season 10-2-1 for the final 13 games.

2. Hartford Wolf Pack ::: 82gp 48W 26W 8OTL 104pts
2. Hartford Wolf Pack ::: 69gp 42W 26W 8OTL 90pts
After winning 3/9 in week 5 and 4/9 in Week 6 Hartford really lost steam going into the final stretch of the season. Coming back with an impressive 8/9 wins in week 7 they quickly reverted back to the breakdown of before with losses to San Jose and Texas. I expect them to lose against Tucson and finish the week with 4/9 wins beating San Antonio and Bakersfield. Week 9 for the pups looks absolutely unforgiving as they are scheduled to clash with some of the top teams in LG as well as teams desperate to hold on to a playoff spot. The only way Hartford pulls out a winning week is with some smart scheduling. The games are against the likes of Albany, Rochester, Providence, Lehigh, Hershey, Wilkes Barre, and Binghamton. Expect Hartford to come away with 4/10 wins. Hartford finishes the remaining season 6-5-2.


3. Wilkes Barre Scranton Penguins ::: 82gp 47W 28W 7OTL 101pts
3. Wilkes Barre Scranton Penguins ::: 69gp 37W 25L 7OTL 81pts
Wilkes Barre has shown why the Atlantic is such a tough division with wins over top teams like Rockford, Grand Rapids, the Gulls and Cleveland. However week 9 is full of division rivals who have proven to edge out the Penguins time and time again. The penguins will record wins over Bakersfield and Stockton but fall to Tuscon. I expect that they will hold on to 3rd place no matter what finishing the season 10-3-0 and looking to be the Dark Horse of the playoff picture.


4. Lehigh Valley Phantoms ::: 82gp 42W 30L 10OTL 94pts
5. Lehigh Valley Phantoms ::: 69gp 34W 27L 8OTL 76pts
On a high in the valley, the phantoms have made a solid push toward playoff contention getting ready to push aside the great tanking of Providence. Not really an impressive record over the last few weeks but I predict that they over-clinch a playoff spot by going 8-3-2 in the remaining games of the season ousting the baby bruins and hopping in the picnic basket ready to be ripped apart by the Bears.


ELIMINATED:

5. Providence Bruins ::: 82gp 35W 35L 12OTL 82pts
4. Providence Bruins ::: 69gp 33W 25L 11OTL 77pts
Providence has had 6 wins in their last 24 games played. Once a fixture of 3rd place Providence has absolutely tanked. I predict that they will lose their remaining games gaining no traction as they slip out of a playoff spot. I don't see them coming back from this week and expect their team to give up as Lehigh takes the 4th playoff spot this week. Providence will end the season with a dismal 2-10-1 for the final 13 games. Start polishing the ivories boys and get ready for some Rory McIlroy's PGA Tour.

6. Springfield Thunderbirds
Finishes the remaining 13 games 5-7-1

7. Bridgeport Sound Tigers
Finishes the remaining 13 games 3-10-0

 

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Eastern North
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1. Rochester Americans ::: 82gp 60W 14L 8OTL 128pts
1. Rochester Americans ::: 69gp 50W 12L 7OTL 107pts
Oh dear Rochester how do you win with @deathstwr99 on your team? He is the James Ellsworth (WWE google it) of LG. Roachester has had a solid season behind some great goaltending in B4NKS, solid offense, and some solid defense. With the King of Syracuse on their side, Zacha, who has 1 more game available to finish the quartet next week... I expect Rochester to finish the season with a 10-2-1 record securely fastening their playoff diaper with a golden safety pin.


2. Albany Devils ::: 82gp 53W 22L 7OTL 113pts
2. Albany Devils ::: 69gp 44W 19L 6OTL 94pts
13pts behind Rochester, it does not look like Albany has a chance of overtaking the Maricans for first in the division. So they will have to settle for 2nd. As the end of their season shapes up it looks like they will be playing the Binghamton Sailors. I predict that Albany will finish strong going 9-3-1 in their last 13 as they get ready to swab the poop deck.



3. Binghamton Sailors ::: 82gp 48W 39L 9OTL 105pts
3. Binghamton Senators ::: 69gp 41W 21L 7OTL 89pts

Their playoff video says it all, Binghamton will finish the season with a 7-4-2 record in their remaining games.


4. Utica Comets ::: 82gp 39W 38L 5OTL 90pts
4. Utica Comets ::: 69gp 35W 29L 5OTL 75pts
Utica doesn't really have to worry about losing their playoff spot as Toronto is not going to mount a strong push to take 4th away. Toronto would have to win a minimum of 9 games if Utica only wins 4 out of the final 13. The Eastern North teams are pretty set as far as the playoffs are concerned. I don't see Utica finishing out the season strong, simply just marinating in that sweet butter gravy as they prepare to be devoured by the Rochester Americans. Don't worry Utica, even though you are about to be eaten you will still be loved. Utica will finish 4-9-0 in the remaining 13 games.



ELIMINATED:

5. Toronto Marlies ::: 82gp 32W 44L 6OTL 70pts
5. Toronto Marlies ::: 69gp 30W 33L 6OTL 66pts
With a very average season going into Week 6 the marlies absolutely snowballed. Winning 4/18 games they try to make a come back during week 8. However, Week 9 holds nothing but horrors for the boys in Toronto with games against the Wilkes Barre, division rival Binghamton, powerhouse Albany, the school for special children Rochester, providence, Lehigh, and Utica. Expect Toronto to lose a lot of games starting tonight getting set to lose the remaining 3 games this week and losing 8/10 next week. Toronto will finish the remainder of the season out with a 2-11-0 record.

6. St. John's Ice Caps
Finishes the remaining 13 games 5-7-1

7. Syracuse Crunch
Finishes the remaining 13 games 1-12-0

 

The ALB/HFD Eastern Conference Final will be a good one to watch.

 

If you don't think I am playing Syracuse next week, you're sadly mistaken!

 

I get carried by the world's largest backpack that's how we win.

 

I need someone to backpack me vs Syracuse. You down?

 

you know it buddy

 

thank god I can't beat them alone!

 

Copy pasted providence's stats so I didn't have to keep recoloring shit. Pts are right, the OTL were supposed to go from 7 to 8 not 12 to 13

 

Not enough Katy Perry songs.

 

I don't really have anything to say but I'm going to leave this here cause the song is fire. Plus that kid dancing makes me laugh.

 

KP IS THE GOAT.

 

@Loshey @A Salty Sail0r "Devoured by Rochester"

 

That awkward moment when you realize this is just a Katy Perry appreciation thread more than a prediction.

P.S central sucks and @Hilly is a goat thats why WBS waxed us all

 

Bridgeport is going to make it what are you smoking

 

I know right, this was obviously done before games commenced last night or while during. He must think rochester is going to "devour" us the same way he thought GRR & RFD were going to have their way.