Belleville Chronicles Part 2

"Folks we stand in front of a dumpster fire..." He lists all the features of this dumpster fire. "Fire shooting out , foul, fetid and toxic fumes leaking into the surrounding air...it makes for quite the sight.

Why? Why are we broadcasting out of a literal dumpster fire, you ask?

This is not just any dumpster. This is what used to be the office of former Belleville GM Jlott. He resigned for mysterious reasons last night. Witnesses claim he climbed out of his Belleville office, screamed "I TOLD YOU THIS SHIT AINT MINE" and proceeded to set fire to the entire thing.

After the teams stellar performance they..." (Reporter reaches to his ear)

"BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait they only WON 4 games!? I thought that was how many they LOST! Omg what a pathetic fuc-"

(A 'Technical difficulties' message appears momentarily on the screen)

1 day earlier

I peak my head over the rim of Jlott's dumpster very, very slowly.

"Jaaaayyyy loooott!"

The GM lies face down in what appears to be a liquid mixture of vomit and moose piss (We all know how easily distinguishable moose piss is from PISS piss)

I, oblivious to Jlott's state of disrepair, continue to playfully call his name for 7 hours and 18 minutes straight. At that 7 hour and 18 minute mark he leaps to his feet, furiously grabs my shirt, stabs me in the stomach no less than 6 times, screams himself hoarse and then asks me what I want

"I want to play all 9, Jlott!"

He groans "I told you you CANT!"

"Ok I understand that we have other dmeeeen....." I say, cozying up to him and bleeding into his leftover puke. "But Jlott baaaaaby. I've never been in a blow out loss, even against charlotte we held em to 5 goals! In week 1 we won all 3! I'm the elixer baby!"

Jlott's eyes roll so hard into the back of his head that he sees his own occipital lobe. "No you fucking MORON! I TOLD YOU IT IS NOT...MY...DECISION. FUCK!"

Jlott pauses for another 5 minutes before..."FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

After another 3 minutes he gets up and screams as loud as he possibly can "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

While dousing every square inch of the dumpster he loudly screams about how it's not his fault and how none of this is even his. With me sitting inside, covered in jet fuel, he hurls a molotov cocktail into the dumpster and runs away screaming. Nothing happens to the dumpster.

"J boy!!! You forgot to light the bottle, silly!!!!"

I light a match off my own sandpaper beard and my entire head becomes engulfed in flames. I dip it into the puddle of jet fuel lying inside the dumpster and get blown several hundred yards through the air. Where my body lands...nobody knows.

-Meanwhile in Pests office-

"Wow...this replacement window that's needed because I threw myself out of it a few weeks back? It looks freakin great! All this paperwork from the constant trades, waiver moves and bans? It no longer blows all over my office because of this new replacement window! SO cool! I feel like things are finally turning around out here"

(My body, still engulfed in flames, crashes through the window. Pests entire office lights like a candle wick).

"Hey pest...I think Jlott quit"


In loving memory of the fallen Belleville elite during S13

 

RIP belleville management.

 

Mafia for AGM.

 

There was no elite in management there. They built the dumpster fire. Only people they can blame is themselves.

 

This is what happens when you dont have players worth the free contract as well as players who dont know how to manage/bid

 

Waitaminute. Belleville is dead last in the AHL and you're telling me we didn't have ELITE people here?

No that's just crazy. C'mon you're being silly

 

@Maddens26 for GM

 

#Bent2020