FKN RANKINGS HEADING INTO TRADE DEADLINE

Hello assholes, illiterates, donkeys, eLiTeS, nice guys, trolls and the rest.

As we approach the Trade Deadline, I figured now might be a good time for rankings. I don't fucking care what any of you think. This is for entertainment. This is a video game and not life, so don't get your panties in a twist if I say you suck and don't think you're succeeding at life if you receive praise.

This is your regular reminder that: NONE OF THIS IS REAL

On to the FKN RANKINGS. These are not weekly, this is looking at the season so far.

Starting in the West

Tier 1 (best chance at Cup):

1. Edmonton Oilers aka eLiTeS
The Oilers get the nod here, as the top the West in points. They are, without a doubt, the Western Conference favorites as of this post. With 7 players tallying over 40 points, including @NUKE Freeman leading the way with 62, this team has scoring up and down the lineup. @Rehanek follows closely with 59 and @Primary Flash leads the D squad with 26 points, with most of the D-men at least 1 PPG. This team gets everyone involved and has no glaring weakness. Have to say hi to @BadPlayBJ and @NH4JP

2. Chicago Blackhawks
@ScoootZ has done a nice job, making the right moves to round out this very, very good team. They trail the Oilers by 4 points in the race for the West and they are own the tiebreaker with the Jets. This team doesn't have the scoring depth of Edmonton, but @CCPiper @Class_Act_27 and I'll even good a nod to @Pacioretty__67 (even though he's a meanie) are pretty goddamned impressive. If this team can pick up some third line help this weekend, they will be in the hunt.

3. Winnipeg Jets
This team could fade, but I'm not calling it yet. They are tied with the Blackhawks in points in the West. The scoring is still meh, but @SabbyAy and @xxSNIPESHOTxx21 are putting up some nice numbers and have very impressive records. The defense, still lead by the $8m island who is @eZDangles is one of the best groups in the league. While this team has no glaring weakness and defense does win championships, they could get to the WCF, but the Oilers would be heavy favorites.

Tier 2 (Time to see what these guys have down the stretch)

4. Dallas Stars
@x ShauN 88 x knows what he's doing. He put together a nice team, as expected. @Theos_l7l doing Theos things still. The defense is nice, but doesn't seem to be heavily involved in the offense. @TalentCheckl94l was a nice pick up, but they lost @Go_marc and now @sam11stern is banned. They will need to make a move or two if they want to make a strong push in the West. Shout out to my favorite fucking potato head @Irishsean

5. Vancouver Canucks
@Tis Woy Woy is averaging 2 PPG and sporting a 12-4-2 record has to have him leading the Norris Conversation. @RWatson19 is having a nice season, but his numbers aren't gaudy, but numbers don't matter for shit when you are 14-3 on the virtual ice. If @CUMMINSx7 can add another solid scorer and a defenseman, this team could be in the conversation.

Tier 3 (Take these fuckers some luck to get deep in postseason)

6. Nashville (child) Predators
@VEXEloQuence is having a pretty ridiculous season, as are @Trio_Bigmac- and @Tyler Gilbert if you look at the records. @RaVerZe- and @J-Dub look like fucking trainwrecks on paper, but admittedly, I have never seen, nor played with or against either. @KingKonz- might want to add a couple of better forwards if these guys plan to do anything in the postseason.

7. Anaheim Ducks
This is a good team, but I doubt even a second round appearance is in their future. @Carmstrong95 and @Xx96_BiDoU_96xX are scoring and putting up wins, but outside of that, the secondary scoring is lacking. The defense is nice, with Kuli aka @I-Dekar-I who should also be in the Norris convo. Picking up Frogtainette aka @Fontainette should help the D a lot, but I don't think it will be enough to topple any of the previously listed teams.

Tier 4 (Round 1 Exits or no postseason)

8. AJ Kings
@RageQuittin has made this team relevant again, though they don't have a playoff spot right now, if he can get some D help, this team could push up into Tier 2 with a strong finish. @xAyohh is pretty fucking sick, and I like @Holy_Coley For someone who talks a lot of shit and always asks for "elites" for club, @Kerns-_- is below .500 and sporting a -7. Maybe GFG before you talk down to people, IDK, just a thought or don't IDC, it's a game and none of this matters irl.

9. Calgary Flames
@Mesmerize-_- has done a solid job, considering the previous Owner/GM meltdown. This team is not great, but competitive. I don't think they have much chance at advancing past Round 1, if they even sneak in the playoffs.

Tier 5 (the rest of you are FUKT, better luck next season)

Moving to the East

Tier 1

1. Buffalo Sabres
@schroyer69 and @Enjoy__The__Show have put together a dynamo team and they might, MIGHT, be my favorites to win the whole fucking thing. This team has offense, defense, goaltending, too many good people to name, but I feel compelled to acknowledge my homie @falkaliber and @OhCanada27 is one of the tougher centers I've had the pleasure of facing.

Tier 2

2. Tampa Bay Lightning aka XBox eLiTe
@v Sloshy knows how to run a team. He is like the Greg Popovich of LG. His players don't give a shit during the regular season, but they will crank it up in the postseason and are nothing short of ECF material, if not more. Shout outs to @marino swag and I know @JBT would appreciate one.

Tier 3

3. Pittsburgh Penguins
This team has the best outside shot to make a run at the cup. @x Loops 19 x @Tcx7 @eastons17 @frostx17 are all terrific. This team has been climbing the standings and improving pretty much every week. Just want to remind you idiots, that I called this the last time I did rankings. Way to go @NeutralityEleven your team has come together nicely and at the right time.

4. Florida Panthers
@Mollet_29 is a top notch tendy and this team has some great talent in @I-CrAzYLiiSh-I and @H R i i Z x 13 but I'm still not buying them as a cup contender. They are good, but not good enough. @Tposey34 gives this team one of the best tendy tandems in the league, but I don't think the secondary scoring or D is there. Wonder where that idiot @KinglySnipz went...

5. Carolina Hurricanes
Getting @Bruchboi900 from the Blues should help this team down the stretch. Dude knows how to score. @Scoring-Aces and @FrankyScott provide nice secondary scoring and the defense is solid, but not outstanding.

Tier 4

6. Montreal Canadiens
A nice top line of @Nick_x_98 @MikexMassacre and @Famous_T_Nasty can only carry a team so far. Most of the defense are on the minus side of things but picking up @x_Elite_76x might help. Still, I don't see this team getting far.

7. Toronto Maple Leafs
No matter how awesome @jay6219 is, he can't do it all himself. @Novak4Prez was a nice addition, but he did not have a nice first week in the new sweater. @J_Rose_19 is a nice plug, but otherwise shitty. @sheer_Iuck has returned from IR and the trade for @JaySpies should give the defense a bit of a boost. The Leafs should sneak into the playoffs, but it won't be an easy ride.

8. Columbus Blue Jackets
They will be in a tight battle with the leafs, likely for the 8th seed, as the Capitals will get a high side because of a weak division. However, Columbus and Pittsburgh are good enough to knock the Caps out of the guaranteed division in spot, and would leave them with a better playoff seeding. @Gostisbehere53 leads the team in scoring, and if ever played any defense, this team could lock up a division spot.

9. Washington Capitals
A beneficiary of playing in a pretty shitty division, this team is underwhelming. @GhostMK is a nice player, and no one stands out as being good or terrible, though @sir_scoopy is pushing the terrible envelope with a -16. 1st Round exit not necessarily guaranteed, as they could luck out with seeding.

Tier 5 (the rest)

Thanks for reading. Fuck you all very much. Have a wonderful weekend. Happy trading.

JRose

 

Kerns is the best goalie in the game playing LW for fun. Shut up.

 

this isn't real life?

 

he should be taking this more serious, this is real life

 

I'm offended by all of this

 

nice JR. i will add the goaltending in WPG is top notch @nochance85 @bobbatta

 

hi jrose, great job as usual

 

hi

 

J rose is a nice guy.

 

konz over kerns any day that is all

 

1b

 

My boy Rose gives me a shout out! Money well spent.

 

good job bro

 

Why nothing on the Avalanche we are comming into a play off position

 

Great read @J_Rose_19 fucking sweg bro

 

Fucking awful rankings about LA. Me and Cam make the D best in the league

 

San Jose!!!

 

Good read! Let's go Pens! Glad to finally be on a winning team lol