Prepare yourselves for an inferno of scathing roasts as we dive deeper into the abyss of defensive incompetence. These 10 defensemen from week 3 of the LG AHL have become masters of mediocrity, and we shall spare no one from our scorching critique. Brace yourselves for an intensified barrage of blistering insults, accompanied by their woeful statistics. Let the fiery onslaught begin! @Cove x 44 - APR: 31.8, Rec: 0-2-0, Pts: 1, G: 0, +/-: -9 Cove x 44, your defensive game is like a black hole, sucking in all hope of stopping the opposition's attack. With an APR of 31.8, it seems you have taken the term "defenseman" a bit too literally by leaving vast expanses of empty space for opponents to exploit. Your minus-nine plus/minus rating suggests that your defensive efforts are as elusive as a mirage in the desert. Oh, how your team must yearn for an actual presence on the blue line! @Zdeno x 71 - APR: 32.2, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 2, G: 0, +/-: -8 Zdeno x 71, it appears that you have mastered the art of being a bystander in your own defensive zone. With an APR of 32.2, you've become a master of vanishing whenever the opposing team approaches. Your minus-eight plus/minus rating tells a tale of defensive negligence, as opponents dance around you with joyous abandon. It's impressive how you manage to contribute points to the other team while being virtually invisible on defense. Bravo! @RideThePorkChop - APR: 33.3, Rec: 0-2-0, Pts: 0, G: 0, +/-: -3 RideThePorkChop, your defensive prowess is reminiscent of a pig on ice—clumsy, uncoordinated, and utterly ineffective. With an APR of 33.3, it seems your primary objective is to provide entertainment for the opposing team rather than impede their progress. Your minus-three plus/minus rating indicates that you possess a unique ability to disappear just when your team needs you the most. It's as if you've taken the phrase "ride or die" and turned it into "ride, then die defensively." @xLidstrom - APR: 33.5, Rec: 0-2-0, Pts: 1, G: 0, +/-: -8 xLidstrom, your defensive efforts are as sturdy as a house of cards in a hurricane. With an APR of 33.5, it's clear that opponents have no trouble dismantling your defensive structure. Your minus-eight plus/minus rating suggests that you're more interested in assisting the opposing team's offense than preserving your own. Perhaps it's time to hang up your skates and pursue a career in creating highlight-reel goals for the opposition. @GingertronXX - APR: 34.3, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 2, G: 0, +/-: -11 GingertronXX, your defensive capabilities are as effective as a soggy gingerbread cookie in a hockey game. With an APR of 34.3, you've mastered the art of providing open lanes and prime scoring opportunities for your opponents. Your minus-eleven plus/minus rating showcases your knack for being in all the wrong places at all the wrong times. Do you have a secret desire to be a human turnstile or are you simply auditioning for the opposition's roster? @Next BIue - APR: 34.9, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 2, G: 0, +/-: -11 Next BIue, your defensive performance is as forgettable as your name suggests. With an APR of 34.9, it's no wonder opponents treat your defensive zone like a playground. Your minus-eleven plus/minus rating indicates that you excel at creating scoring opportunities for the opposing team. Are you secretly a double agent, working diligently to sabotage your own team's chances of success? Your commitment to defensive ineptitude is truly awe-inspiring. @l Leclerc l - APR: 35.5, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 1, G: 0, +/-: -5 l Leclerc l, your defensive efforts are as effective as a leaky sieve trying to hold water. With an APR of 35.5, opponents must feel like they've stumbled upon a defensive goldmine whenever they face you. Your minus-five plus/minus rating suggests that you have an uncanny ability to disappear when it matters most, leaving your teammates to fend for themselves. Have you considered moonlighting as a motivational speaker, teaching others how not to play defense? @Baercheese - APR: 35.7, Rec: 0-2-0, Pts: 1, G: 1, +/-: -6 Baercheese, your defensive game is as full of holes as a block of Swiss cheese. With an APR of 35.7, opponents must rejoice every time they see you on the ice, knowing that scoring chances will come aplenty. Your minus-six plus/minus rating suggests that you excel at giving your opponents a head start in the race to victory. While you may have found the back of the net once, your defensive lapses overshadow any offensive contribution you make. @I KROBY I - APR: 36.6, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 1, G: 1, +/-: -2 I KROBY I, your defensive game is as solid as a sieve made of Swiss cheese. With an APR of 36.6, it's clear that opponents find your defensive presence more appetizing than a gourmet meal. Your minus-two plus/minus rating suggests that you have a talent for allowing opposing players to slip through your defensive grasp. Is it a conscious decision or simply an inability to comprehend the concept of defense? Either way, you've mastered the art of self-sabotage. @Retnuh23 - APR: 37.2, Rec: 0-3-0, Pts: 2, G: 0, +/-: -10 Retnuh23, your defensive efforts are as effective as using a broomstick to stop a freight train. With an APR of 37.2, opponents must consider playing against you a holiday gift, with scoring opportunities raining down like confetti. Your minus-ten plus/minus rating suggests that you have a knack for single-handedly deflating your team's chances of success. Do you practice your defensive lapses in front of a mirror or do they come naturally to you? And there you have it—a searing roast of the 10 worst defensemen from week 3 of the LG AHL. These players have showcased their remarkable ability to be a liability on the ice, leaving their teams vulnerable and their opponents celebrating. May they find inspiration in their ineptitude and strive to improve their defensive game, for the sake of their teammates
