Please Vote! S41 Anti-Award Winners

It's everyones favorite time of the season. Introducing your Season 41 Anti-Award Winners. In honor of May the 4th, I'll leave you all with one of the greatest quotes of all-time...

"Remember, the Anti-Awards will be with you, always." - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Automatic Awards

Anti-Calder/Anti-Presidents

Winner: Syracuse Crunch
(@Darthy WRLD @twilightx57x)
[18-57-7, 43 points]

- Syracuse was tied with the Texas Stars for the Anti-Presidents after five weeks and they ended up finishing with 21 fewer points than the Stars, and 14 fewer points than the Anti-President runner-up Stockton Heat. There's nothing more miserable than being absolute dogshit from start to finish.

Jack A. Butterfingers Trophy [Awarded to the least valuable player on the worst team in the league]

Winner: @Doobs Da Merc
(1-21-4 with 12 points, -58)

- EIGHT straight weeks without a win. Not so ironically, that one win was against the Crunch team for which he spent SEVEN of those winless weeks. Ouch.

EmiLe Francis Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Atlantic]

Winner: Syracuse Crunch
(@Darthy WRLD @twilightx57x)
[18-57-7, 43 points]

- Insider @Spacelessbark reported that Twilight striked, then banned players that he told not to show up for the final week of the season... If this is indeed truthful then Twilight is almost as much of a scumbag as our Anti-Hunt candidates.

The Broomchump Award
[Worst team in the Eastern North]

Winner: Hartford Wolf Pack
(@Swizz Wrld @xKookz @kibberts77)
[28-49-5, 61 points]

- Hartford finished with the best record out of all the division losers, so congrats on being the best of the worst!


Richard F. "Cant"ing Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Conference]

Winner: Syracuse Crunch
(@Darthy WRLD @twilightx57x)
[18-57-7, 43 points]

- There wasn't even a single player on Syracuse's TC to finish above .500 for the Crunch this season.

Sam PoLLock Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Central]

Winner: Tucson Roadrunners
(@Lagsak @Schwatz83)
[27-51-4, 58 points]

- You can't convince me that Tucson hasn't been cursed since the Omaha and trap Roadrunners left the desert.

John "No" D. Chick Award
[Worst team in the Western Pacific]

Winner: Stockton Heat
(@Skoonee @oPhoonee @Swaggy Ewok)
[23-48-11, 57 points]

- The Heat's offense was about as hot as an Antarctic winter being one of just two teams to score fewer than 215 goals on the season (only 172, tied with Syracuse for the league lead).

Robert "No" W. Clarke Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Conference]

Winner: Stockton Heat
(@Skoonee @oPhoonee @Swaggy Ewok)
[23-48-11, 57 points]

- Who else thinks it's insane that Tucson gave up nearly 100 more goals than Stockton (356 to 258), and Stockton still managed to be the worst in the West by a single point? Impressive.

Automatic Individual Awards
(20 GP minimum needed for award consideration)

John B. SoLLenberger Trophy
[Awarded to the forward with the least amount of points on the season]

Winner: @fighta18
(25 points in 21 GP)

- One win on the season to match his slightly over 1 PPG. This is exactly the kind of consistency I'm looking for.

Runner-up: @DIXON l35l
(27 points in 27 GP)

- I'm not sure if this guy is named after The Walking Dead character or not... Either way you're not worthy of the name.


Anti-Rocket Award
[Awarded to the forward who scored the fewest goals in the regular season]

Winner: @BADxLARRY
(8 goals in 23 GP)

- You scored fewer goals than The Impractical Jokers has seasons... Figure it out LAAARRRRRYYYYYY!!!


Co-runner-ups: @AJ9191 & @l kinns l 98
(9 goals in 27 GP for AJ and 23 GP for Kinns)

- IMAGINE losing an award to some guy named Larry? Depressing.

Harry "Unhappy" Holmes Memorial Award
[Awarded to the goalie who allowed the most goals during the regular season]

Winner: @Rittich x 33
(173 GA in 48 GP)

Runner-up: @lx NickyP xl
(164 GA in 38 GP)

- Rittich retained his week five lead over Nicky for the Unhappy Holmes where he had given up 11 more goals in only one more game played than Nicky... So it's actually wildly impressive that Nicky managed to close the gap to just 9 goals while finishing with 10 fewer games played. Clearly Rittich was incredibly Unhappy after being cap banned a week after the season ended.

Bossy's Nominated Awards

UseLes Cunningham Award
[Awarded to the league's least valuable player]

Winner: @Doobs Da Merc
(1-21-4 with 12 points, -58)

- I usually prefer to give the league LVP to the worst free contract in the league, but unfortunately their wasn't a single manager who came close to having an absurdly impressive total of one win in 26 games.

Runner-up: @fighta18
(1-17-3 with 25 points, -42)

- You should've fought harder for the UseLes Cunningham, but clearly you're no match for Doobs.

Eddie I'm Not "Shore" You're A Dman Award
[Awarded to the AHL's worst defenseman]

Winner: @Doobs Da Merc
(1-21-4 with 12 points, -58)

- When you've won three times as many Anti-Awards as you've won LG games all season long.


Runner-up: @Modemizer
(5-13-5 with 13 points, -20)

- IMAGINE getting traded from the Heat to the Crunch and then back to the Heat? I almost feel bad.

Aldedge "Bad" Bastien Memorial Award
[Awarded to the league's worst goalie]

Winner: @LLcoolSam5855
(7-16-0 with .712SV% and 4.33 GAA)

Runner-up: @z Spiers
(14-14-3 with .718SV% and 3.25 GAA)

- Goalies aren't people.

Nail Yakupov Award a.k.a. Anti-Datsyuk Award
[Awarded to the forward who least excels in the defensive aspects of the game]

Winner: @Sportsxx
(137 GA in 27 GP)

- This might be an all-time awful gamertag... Fitting for an all-time awful season. At least I found your number one and probably only fan!


Runner-up: @Duchesne_x_10
(120 GA in 27 GP)

- I don't know who or what a Duchesne is, but I looked it up and Duchesne means "from the oak..." Clearly this man took his name a little too literally, so he made like an oak tree and simply stood there doing nothing on defense this season.

Anti-Fred T. Hunt Memorial Trophy
[Awarded to the player who exhibited the lowest levels of sportsmanship and ungentlemanly conduct, combined with a low standard of playing ability]

Winner: @AP Nope

- The community has pretty overwhelmingly decided that AP Nope is the winner of the Anti-Hunt. I thought that the voting would be a little closer, but there was no wrong choice here. Random shitters being toxic and refusing to play will never not be hilarious.

Runner-up: @PPasK

- Clearly according to the AHL community, this PPasK guy is now a loser in more ways than one...


Honorable Mention: @RedxDevilx44

- The story behind this ban during the final week of the season is so amazingly ridiculous that I had to mention it here. So this Red Devil guy is the backup goalie for the Ontario Reign playing against the lowly Texas Stars. Ontario is winning 8-2 in the second period in a clear blowout, and as you would expect the Ontario team is looking to pad their stats. Ontario ends up giving up a 2 on 0 breakaway, so Mr. Devil decides to skate into the corner, give up a free goal to make it 8-3, and then rage quit from the game and he proceeds to entirely quit and take a 3S ban... Ontario went on to win the game 16-5. TL;DR some loser rage quit from the league due to winning a game by 11 goals.


The "Dud" Red Garrett Memorial Award
[Awarded to the least outstanding AHL rookie]

Winner: @fighta18
(1-17-3 with 25 points, -42)

- Live look at fighta challenging the AHL for first time this season...


Runner-up: @bedpou
(5-19-2 with 15 points, -66)

- What the f*ck is a bedpou?

The Mike Milbury Award [Awarded to the least outstanding management team in the regular season]

Winner: Syracuse Crunch
(@Darthy WRLD @twilightx57x)

- Darthy abandoned his own sinking ship after just six weeks, but I couldn't let him leave behind his well earned Milbury Award.

Co-runner-ups: Stockton Heat & Tucson Roadrunners
(@Skoonee @oPhoonee @Swaggy Ewok & @Lagsak @Schwatz83)

- There's next to nothing separating these two teams (literally just one point in the standings). I'm sure players on both teams were equally as miserable all season long, so both teams are undoubtedly worthy of a mention here.

Charmin Soft Award [Awarded to the skater with the fewest number of hits on the season]

Winner: @Obiwansz
(1 hit in 25 GP)

- This man couldn't even use the force to get himself more than one lousy hit? Poverty.


Runner-up: @Jordo DaKid
(4 hits in 24 GP)

- May the 4 hits be with you. There's another Star Wars reference for nerds like that Obiwansz guy. You're welcome.

Bob Stewart Award [Awarded to the player with the worst +/-. Named after the player with the worst +/- in NHL history at -257 for his career]

Winner: @Sportsxx
(-68 in 27 GP)

- Wait there's another one... Who knew Sports had so many fans!


Runner-up: @bedpou
(-66 in 26 GP)

- I still don't know what a bedpou is.

The Black Hole Award [Awarded to the skater who's been on the ice for the fewest goals scored for his team during the regular season]

Winner: @fighta18
(42 GF in 21 GP)

- You couldn't even let your linemate have an award smh.

Runner-up: @HOMlEZONED
(46 GF in 24 GP)

- Fighting a black hole would certainly be futile, so sorry Homie, you never stood a chance here.

The LG Hates You Award [Awarded to the player with the lowest overall ranking given to them by LG]

Winner: @fighta18
(32 overall ranking, 1-17-3 with 25 points, -42)

- This fighta is starting to look like Rocky with the amount of sequels he has been having on this thread...

Runner-up: @Duchesne_x_10
(37 overall ranking, 6-18-3 with 40 points, -31)

- Once again, you just never stood a chance against fighta.

The You Kind of Deserved Better, but Really Don't Because You Still Stink Award [Awarded to the player who least deserved to be in their shitty situation, but who still kind of deserved it]

Winner: @private D0NUT
(12-10-2 with .742SV% and 3.67 GAA)

- Poor Donut was traded from WBS to Stockton at the deadline. Tragic.

Runner-up: @CoinCorgi812697
(16-5-1 with 51 points, +27)

- Tito being traded from Coachella Valley to Belleville after week five is slightly less tragic.

New Award

The Give it Away Award [Awarded to the player with the most giveaways on the season]

Winner: @I casas 26 l
(418 GA in 27 GP)

- Congrats on being the first ever Anti-Award winner to be a sure-fire winner of an actual award this season (this one is 100% more meaningful though since you scrubhunted for the other one).

Runner-up: @xKookz
(403 GA in 28 GP)

- Knife managed to chase down and surpass Kookz for most giveaways despite having played one fewer game. Unbelievable.

 

I only took a ban because I had eye surgery and couldn’t play

 

Gotcha, I definitely wasn't aware of that, and the site just shows that you quit. Are you not able to appeal?

 

Goalies are not people

 

My only crime is keeping my word. The 1 win actually looks like a blemish on the record in my humble opinion. Next seasons goal is 0

 

@AP Nope i kept my promise ; ) see u S45

 

nice

 

Lmao @l Bossy l x 22 I didn't deserve that lmaooo! I was the most expensive fwd at 2.5!!!!
"Still kinda deserved it"... my ass!!

Great writeup as always pal, always look forward to these

 

LG insider straight reporting facts. #FreeBryce #FreeGingerembreQC

 

Red Devils rage quit ban is one of the craziest things ive ever seen

 

Great write-up! Must have taken loads of time and effort.

 

just fyi, i was debating on quitting this league for weeks leading up to that Texas game and multiple people could confirm that. Between fleet being a whiney brat, and half the team having egos the size of the planet, being told to "make 1" and immediately letting up a 3 on 0 after was just the cherry on top and I made my decision right then.

I hope @Hockey Gent gets that calder as a forward tho. go reign!

 

Thx for the nominations <3

 

Where is @Sportsxx and @fighta18

I want to hear from the winners.

 

I absolutely loved this!!! Thank you for the deserving awards. I hope to continue my streak next season!!