Please Vote! S42 Anti-Award Winners

It's time for everyones favorite time of the year (no not the LG playoffs, nobody cares about those)... Introducing your Season 42 Anti-Award Winners.

Automatic Awards

Anti-Calder/Anti-Presidents

Winner: Chicago Wolves
(@Nelson Yankee88 @Yeah I Ate It @Yzerman Returns)
[17-59-6, 40 points]

- I'm not sure what's worse. The fact that Yzerman is continuously allowed to manage teams at any level of LG or the measly 40 point season for the Wolves.

Jack A. Butterfingers Trophy
[Awarded to the least valuable player on the worst team in the league]

Winner: @Johns l20l
4-19-1, (11-25-36 points), -58

- Johns has managed some crappy teams in his day as well, but nothing that compares to this miserable Wolves team.

EmiLe Francis Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Atlantic]

Winner: Grand Rapids Griffins
(@Gbaby Waffles @l Mooosey l)
[29-46-7, 65 points]

- GRG was expected by many to be an above average team this season, and they failed miserably at being even remotely competitive. They finished with the worst GF (218) and GA (302) in their division.

The Broomchump Award [Worst team in the Eastern North]

Winner: Chicago Wolves
(17-59-6, 40 points)

- No surprise here. The one saving grace for Chicago is that this wasn't a historically awful season. Still finishing 15 points behind the second worst team in the league is awfully impressive.

Richard F. "Cant"ing Trophy
[Worst team in the Eastern Conference]

Winner: Chicago Wolves
(17-59-6, 40 points)

- Unsurprisingly Chicago sported both the worst GF (187) and GA (371) in the entire AHL. There's no greater recipe for Anti-Award success.

Sam PoLLock Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Central]

Winner: Iowa Wild
(@l CHOWDAH l @St1llSyncing)
[29-45-8, 66 points]

- Iowa performed pretty much as expected this season. Barely squeaking out the Sam PoLLock over an awful Admirals team is rather impressive though.

John "No" D. Chick Award
[Worst team in the Western Pacific]

Winner: Abbotsford Canucks
(@IlIBRINKS @Eightball19)
[26-53-3, 55 points]

- Abbotsford basically follows the same story as Iowa. Nobody really expected them to be decent, and they narrowly edged out another awful team (San Diego) for the John "No" D. Chick.

Robert "No" W. Clarke Trophy
[Worst team in the Western Conference]

Winner: Abbotsford Canucks
(26-53-3, 55 points)

- A whopping 10 forfeits is largely responsible for winning this award. Hopefully these forfeits will also be responsible for some bans or NMLs.

Automatic Individual Awards
*(22 GP minimum needed for award consideration)

John B. SoLLenberger Trophy
[Awarded to the forward with the least amount of points on the season]

Winner: @Colonel20
5-17-1, (8-15-23 points), -19

- I think Colonel may have forgotten that he wasn't playing defense this season where his 1 PPG would be significantly more impressive.

Runner-up: @Hubrous
7-13-3, (16-10-26 points), -19, 451 hits

- This man had over 17x as many hits as he had points this season because... Priorities.

Anti-Rocket Award
[Awarded to the forward who scored the fewest goals in the regular season]

Winner: @ I OHBEE I
(5 goals in 28 GP)

- This is probably the most impressive award winner of S42. This man won 14 games playing more than half his games at center for a solid playoff team. You'd think that even a monkey would accidentally be capable of reaching double digit goals in this situation.

Runner-up: @Colonel20
(8 goals in 23 GP)

- Colonel Sanders couldn't even average one goal per finger lick smh.

Harry "Unhappy" Holmes Memorial Award
[Awarded to the goalie who allowed the most goals during the regular season]

Winner: @I Eden l
(171 GA in 54 GP)

- Eden is one of just two goalies to play six games every single week. The other, @FLEET GOD, gave up 77 fewer goals though.

Runner-up: @Greek x31x
(162 GA in 45 GP)

- Greek is probably more deserving of this award, but sadly this award isn't opinion based. Sorry, not sorry.

Bossy's Nominated Awards
*(22 GP minimum needed for award consideration)

UseLes Cunningham Award
[Awarded to the league's least valuable player]

Co-Winners: @Brisan x6
4-18-2, (15-13-28 points), -32 &
@l Modano l
4-17-3, (0-10-10 points), -32

- It's next to impossible to pick a winner between these two. Both of them provided absurdly awful value in relation to their contracts (4m for Brisan and 4.5m for Modano). These immovable pieces helped tank Milwaukee's season immediately after bidding.

Eddie I'm Not "Shore" You're A Dman Award
[Awarded to the AHL's worst defenseman]

Winner: @l Modano l
4-17-3, (0-10-10 points), -32

- Modano doesn't need to share this award with any of his teammates. Congrats on being the worst defenseman in the AHL!

Runner-up: @Sharpy I24I
4-17-1, (0-11-11 points), -41

- Someone needs to draw Sharpie a map on how to be better at defense.

Aldedge "Bad" Bastien Memorial Award
[Awarded to the league's worst goalie]

Winner: @defgrav06
7-15-0, .696 SV% and 5.04 GAA

- There's nothing less surprising than the worst goalie in the league being on the Chicago Wolves... I'm actually somewhat impressed that this guy somehow managed to win seven games this season.

Runner-up: @recyclebinhero
7-17-0, .702 SV% and 3.96 GAA

- Here you go. You're welcome.

Nail Yakupov Award a.k.a. Anti-Datsyuk Award
[Awarded to the forward who least excels in the defensive aspects of the game]

Winner: @Johns l20l
(128 GA in 24 GP)

- You can never have too many "Johns" in this thread.

Runner-up: @VolTaGe TaCKtik
(123 GA in 27 GP)

- You might not have won an Anti-Award, but at least you'll always have your worst contract designation.

Anti-Fred T. Hunt Memorial Trophy
[Awarded to the player who exhibited the lowest levels of sportsmanship and ungentlemanly conduct, combined with a low standard of playing ability or awarded to a player with high hit and penalty minute totals, combined with a low standard of playing ability]

Winner: @TheBuschBoss
11-16-0, (23-32-55 points), -5 with 63 PIMS & 286 hits

Runner-up: @Ya Boy Torn
11-15-1, (27-36-63 points), -5 with 54 PIMS & 254 hits

- Using the latter method of determining the Hunt this season due to a lack of any absurd AHL bans this season (if I'm forgetting something, let me know). It would be difficult to find a more perfect example for the statistical criteria of the Hunt than these two Iowa linemates. They both finished top 10 in hits and PIMs while otherwise having a pretty miserable season.

The "Dud" Red Garrett Memorial Award
[Awarded to the least outstanding AHL rookie]

Winner: @I King Ovi I
4-17-1, (11-23-34 points), -54

Runner-up: @xMafio67
6-14-4, (12-21-33 points), -36

- I almost feel bad for players who get their first taste of a higher level on such miserable teams. At least they stuck it out without quitting.

The Mike Milbury Award [Awarded to the least outstanding management team in the regular season]

Winner: Chicago Wolves
(@Nelson Yankee88 @Yeah I Ate It @Yzerman Returns)
[17-59-6, 40 points]

- There was no other choice here.

Runner-up: Abbotsford Canucks
(@IlIBRINKS @Eightball19)
[26-53-3, 55 points]

- Aside from Yzerman, these guys are probably the most deserving candidates to land on the NML.

Charmin Soft Award [Awarded to the skater with the fewest number of hits on the season]

Co-Winners: @SUNFLO 91 @Sham x 19
(4 hits in 28 GP for each)

- I'll never understand how you can play this many games and not even accidentally finish with a dozen hits or so.

Bob Stewart Award [Awarded to the player with the worst +/-. Named after the player with the worst +/- in NHL history at -257 for his career]

Winner: @Johns l20l
(-58 in 24 GP)

- More Johns.

Runner-up: @I King Ovi I
(-54 in 22 GP)

- Someone needs to teach young Ovi how to play some defense. A -54 +/- is absurd.

The Black Hole Award [Awarded to the skater who's been on the ice for the fewest goals scored for his team during the regular season]

Winner: @l Modano l
(41 GF in 24 GP)

Runner-up: @Schwifty Tip
(44 GF in 23 GP)

- These guys will probably try and blame their forwards for winning this award, but I have a sneaking suspicion that these guys provided literally nothing offensively.

The LG Hates You Award [Awarded to the player with the lowest overall ranking given to them by LG]

Winner: @Colonel20
(34 LG Ranking)

Runner-up: @Johns l20l
(37 LG Ranking)

- No surprises here. Look more Johns!

The You Kind of Deserved Better, but Really Don't Because You Still Stink Award [Awarded to the player who least deserved to be in their shitty situation, but who still kind of deserved it]

Winner: @K11LA K
14-11-3, (27-38-65 points), +7

- 5m Killa stuck out the entire season on a miserable GRG team and even moved over to play the center position which he swore he wouldn't play this season in an effort to help his team. He also played in nearly half of his teams wins this season (14 out of 29). Good guy Killa, but you still deserved it because you stink.

Runner-up: @Dylaniscool61
14-5-3, (20-25-45 points), +10

- Poor Dylan got shipped off from Charlotte to Rockford at the deadline, where he had his best week of the season in week 9 in an attempt to keep Rockford's faint postseason hopes alive. Once again, I almost feel bad.

The Give it Away Award [Awarded to the player with the most giveaways on the season]

Winner: @Juul In You
9-14-4, (19-21-40 points), -25 with 393 GA in 27 GP and 130:38 PP

Runner-up: @iDoubleOhSeven
12-13-1, (16-34-50 points), -1 with 370 GA in 26 GP and 131:08 PP

- Am I the only one wondering why these guys were allowed to touch the puck so much (15th and 16th respectively in puck possession in the AHL)? Clearly neither of them provided much of anything offensively despite all those touches.

New Award

Congrats, You Can Click Up Award [Awarded to the player who has the biggest differential between goals and assists on the season]

Winner: @xVrana
(61G-35A=26)

Runner-up: @Spiritual x
(48G-26A=22)

- The new award title says it all... Congrats on being able to click up!

Closing: I've enjoyed making these threads for you guys, but there's a chance that this will be my last thread for quite some time. I'm unsure if I'll be playing LG next season, and even if I am, I might not have enough free time to continue making these. It's been fun, good luck to everyone still in the playoffs!
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These are always good reads! Still can’t believe I got shafted for an anti-award!

maybe the ‘can’t cover your guy in game 7 award’ would be most fitting

 

I'd like to thank everybody, the haters, my fans...for this great achievement I couldn't do it without you all. I am just in shock right now. Ty ty

 

Id like to thank everyone in this league for continuing to dance around in the offensive zone. I could never have reached the heights I have without them all keeping their eyes glued to the ice. To the D men who love to watch their passes out of the d zone and skate in straight lines, Id be remiss to not thank you for your contributions as well. You’ve all made what was a terrible season so much more fun for me. Keep your heads down kids concussions aren’t real

 

I was snubbed.

 

Just wanna thank the primadonna elitists who don’t appreciate the art of a true power forward, you were the targets of many of my 250+ hits… also misserable season? Meh only -5 and almost 2 ppg on the worst team in the west sounds alright to me

 

Couldn’t do it without my partner in crime. The dynamic duo and true artists in todays game. Bringing back some old school hockey. Gold truculence has a special place in my heart

 

@l Bossy l x 22 im sorry you are not allowed to stop. This is too legendary to stop after 4 seasons. Please keep it going

 

This might be the first season in which I haven't had to write about @Zhamnov for the Anti-Awards lmao

 

I played way too much Cooking Simulator this season and it really affected my performance on the stat sheet. I can make a mean Honey Glazed Ham and Twice Baked Potato now though. This summer was as tasty as it was painful.

 

I'm sure your cooking is better than Chef @Broomball16 and his "lasagna"

Sorry @Schwifty7

 

I might be your biggest fan

 

Why is my name not here?

 

Outstandingly poor job to all of the award winners and runner-ups. Truly impressive seasons!

 

thank you for the award, I've been working towards this for so long! id like to thank @K11LA K for helping us achieve this.

 

Woof, I joined the Wolves late to help them finish out the season. I feel misrepresented but man was that team bad.

 

I'm so proud of you! @Brisan x6