T-TiME's AHL Power Rankings.

1.) Rochester Americans

Lets start with the Talent they have with this MGT Group K slice and Shocker are unbelievable players and are way to good for the AHL. Adding a guy in bidding like SouPerSaiyan IMO will push them over the top of a team like Albany and Texas. The Star Spangled SouPerSaiyan and In K slice we Trust will provide Fireworks Not just on July 4th but for the whole season. They also have Darsow and Gay Fork on D which are really underrated Goalies be prepare to snag the "Ash Cannons" from the point as both of those guys can really let the Puck Go. Thamps is a great goalie and the only red light behind you will be seeing is the Fireworks.
FWD Rate - A
DEF Rate - B+
Goalie Rate- B+
Players to Watch- SouPerSayin, Kslice,Shocker,Thamps

2.) Albany Devils

Jeff and Max Well had pretty much a set roster and only had to pick up their fill in players. Getting Kapka in the draft was a bid steal. UH I POOP will be shitting on every goalie he sees and Max and Jeff no what their doing on D and will be great. This team will be Tough to beat this Year. But dating back to the bible the Devil Never Wins. Jesus will sent those guys to hell to rott after getting knock out of the Finals. On a side note King Cola will have Cola to wash down his Devil- ES.
Give it to ME is this teams savior messiah if he gets hot during playoff time. God will have no choice but to crown the Devils Champions.
FWD Rate- B+
DEF Rate - B+
Goalie- A
Players to Watch - Give it To ME and Poopy.

3.) Texas Stars

Theirs a ghost in Texas! Connor the Ghost???? Quote From Connor "2nd Tags are a great thing to have". Ive Played Club vs these guys and with them and they are great. Dr Dee - is the only doctor in Texas as people from Texas usually don't know their left from their right. Justified will only be Justified when this team wins the Calder Trophy. Pediction HOLD M D will be only holding an unemployment card when Ghost realizes he doesn't show up ever. Pizzzii AKA omagic x AKA Pizza is a stud but they dont make good Pizza in Texas so he Will be Shipped to Chicago or New-York. Monopolize at Goalie is kinda rolling the dice in my opinion but you have Good D to carry him Pass Go all the way to the Finals.

FWD Rate - A-
DEF- B+
Goalie - B-
Players to Watch- My Boi Searson

4.) Bridgeport Sound Tigers

Have you guys ever heard a Tiger sing? Thats what i thought! Only Sound that will be coming out of their mouths are ROARS! To Poke Fun at ERice #TigersROARRRRRRRRR #MonstersWeep This team is stacked Dirty Mart and Potter have Build this team into contention for the Calder Trophy which is why they earn the 4th Spot. The Dirty Mart will be full of MEtteopCheese and Full of brewskis for IGHangOVER as hes pre- game ritual is getting drunk.
OCanadaO will Sing O Canada and get the team pumped in the lockerroom by providing the "Nude News" which is only provided in Canada SIN Me Beautiful ROARRSSSSSSSSSSS Make me proud Sound Tigers.

FWD RATE - B+
DEF RATE- B-
Goalie RATE - A+
Players to Watch - Dirty Mart because this mart is open 24/7

5.) Iowa Wild

For this one i will be typing with errors so Tranny the grammar Nazi will go Nuts. Oka so i b lik tranny is b the best goaler in dis game "Tits" or Tats is a soild FWD. Okay in all seriousness ive had the pleasure to play with Tranny in S15 Colorado and is a great goalie. Tats and tranny have been together forever and make a cute ass couple. The really question mark about this team is the d i believe the one game i played with Raplabrowns in club he shitt the bed granted its one game but the bed was still covered. Also you spent Alot on Brodie which could be the thing that hurts you. Will BMac rather eat BMac then put up points? Will he Turn into the NICK NHL 400LBS i hope for your sake not.
FWD- B+
DEF- C+
Goalie - A
Players to Watch - Brodie

6.) Manchester Monarchs

Craig x b and Clancy fresh off winning the cup the only reason they are not higher on this list is because Craig once sent me a nasty message after simply telling him my trading block " justkiddin" i completely forgot Manchester they will be a solid team. Your probably thinking does Manchester even know hockey i thought they were all up on thier futbol.? Will they be footfairys or Dangle thier dicks around the other teams to be Champs? Manchester has Norbtron i love him. Boogersnap on D he might go picking his nose instead of playing hockey.

FWD- A-
D- B+
G- A+
Players to watch- Clancy and BoogerSnap

7.) Providence Bruins

Zeno and Couture have build himself a winner boys. How can you Arguee about having Arueeeeeeeeeeeee on your team dudes a winner. Zeno is a really good goalie and couture has proven he can play with the best of the best. How can you beat these guys with The Reaper 420247 on there team he will surely put all of you in the Grave RIP. The Big Bad Bears have Evil Monkey on d to lead their core.. Since when are bears and monkeys friends? Prediction Evil Monkey will get swallowed by Week 3 and the bears will trade his remaining parts for some honey. Honey will be the key ingredient the bears need to make it far in the playoffs.

FWD- B
DEF- B
Goalie- A
Players to watch- Reaper and argue GalaDWA

8.) Hersey Bears

Bergy did some great things in bidding got the Chosen lights and justin connection and Leg 1 Super Star Stith on his team and a big off season trade getting Miracle. Stith will be a big part of the D im sure hes got Bergy "Stithing up" just thinking about him. Lights out will Flash x 91 Angry Mormon because Angry Mormon is the Chosen x 1 to take them into the 2nd round and get knocked out unless a Miracle happens. Bears will ultimately melt down like a hershey candy bar in your pocket on a Sunday
FWD - A-
D- B
G- B
Player to Watch- Angry Mormon

9.) Abbotsford Heat

Went through some weather channels and found that Abbotsford is only 74 degrees when the heat are not playing but when the heat are temps rise to 90 degrees Swimming pools in abbotsford cant even cool off these amazing players. Questionable Offense and a great d and g are what are gunna carry this team far. Vas and Blkhawks are amazing goalies with pro and kbsmith on d hard to get by them IMO Abbotsford will be a playoff team within the 4-5 range that will get bounced from the first round. The Heat from the sun will cool and go below freezing as the heat are eliminated and all the people in Abbotsford will die a slow painful death.

FWD- C+
DEF - B+
Goalies- A+
Players to watch- Vas!

10.) Rockford Ice Hogs

What the fuck is an Ice Hog? Oink Oink Oink OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LeafsMAn that cutie with that big fat booty. Sup im Gay will carry this team also nice steal on metalobject hes a pretty good defensive man. Prediction Sliky Johnson will slide that Johnson into both Sup Im Gay and Leafsman by the end of the season.Dudes a cherry popper. IceHogs will get dispiggyeatdounts in a trade/ senddown at the trade deadline and he surly will make Leafsman squeal with JOY. Ultimately the
the Hogs will be made into Pork and ham and served for fourth of July.

FWD- A
DEF- B-
Goalies - B
Player to Watch- Leafsman and how many boyfriends she will have by the end of the season.

11.) Norfolk Admirals

Will heimy break a hymen ? Jay Rulz and heim are one of the best Mgt groups but their ranked at 11th because of two reasons Ashes and faith for 4.25 mill is way to high and Miss Epic at 500k is simply not worth it because shes a whiny bitch. This team will Compete all season and get into the playoffs around the 5-6 seed. Riesma and bknotzz are two really underpaid forwards that will look to blossom as the Admirals will look to avoid a sunken ship.
FWD- B
DEF -B-
G- B
Players to Watch - Miss epic and bknotzz

12.) Springfield Falcons

Brians and Vorcheckkkkkkk to guys that have NHL Experience that have done great things. Random meat at 4 mill was a little high as random meat doesn't last a chance as the butcher GM Brians will sent him packing in week 1 for some spare cash. IMO ZERO Choice = ZERO Chance of stealing any games from what i seen of him there's no way he is worth the 3mill he got. and Another goalie in T BAG Frenzy???? the only thing this goalie will be t Baging is his own mother. You guys have some great forwards and some good d but your goalies i believe are what are gonna hold you back. Mark Go Habs Go and Hunter are really strong d at a great price. Predictions the Falcons will make the playoffs because of their mgt group and when they realize their goalies arent that good will turn things around and make must needed adjustments. Rename this team Springfield Carrier Pigeons because thats all Voracek and Brians will be doing all season.
PS: Shaun Will be waived Week 1.
FWD - A-
DEF - A-
Goalies- C+
Players to Watch- ZERO CHANCE

13.) Utica Comets

Smitter impressed the fuck out of me ! i thought no way the Gentle Gen Box was going to make the playoffs last year Now you add Aronney to the mix= instant upgrade from last season this Offense with the likes of Made of two faces as a steal at 1.75 how could you go wrong with this bipolar winger he will shoot and score whether he is smiling or Frowning. You Go CrazyRonishere which is a bit overpaid but you do what you do to get sick offense.CrazyRonis here and at game time if CrazyRon is on that equals Production. Also with Billy SMith in net hell be singing billy joel tunes to the Fwds on the other team to put them to sleep with that big fucking glove he has comets are in good hands Prediction: Comets will Soar into the Atmosphere until they hit a spaceship and break apart in the first round and fall to the earth.

FWD: A-
DEF- B-
G- B
Players to watch - Billy Smith hes a fawkin Allstar.

14.) Adirondack Phantoms

Spooky EHH>???? Haven't you guys watched Phantom of the Opera. The Phantom doesn't win? They Lost their Insurance Policy to the NHL so they will be looking for some spooky insurance on the front end to get that offense going. They got something right on D with Ebeans covered with Machezy the perfect dish for a Phantom. Spiral rat at 500k is a huge steal for these spooksters. The real question is are they going to be Casper the Ghost instead of Spooky Phantoms ? Will Other teams be Buring Wolves or Pantsing Pillow Pants only time will tell. One thing for sure is the only thing holey in Hockeygals game is that big gap she has between her teeth.
FWD- B+
DEF-B+
Goalie- B
Players to Watch- Hockeygal

15.) St. John Ice Caps

Lucky hound is luck that Tim hortons is open 24/7 and agreed to sponsor the team this teams forwards are pretty good you go SlpiffNCum , Jbidd, and Dr Dro SpliffNRuM will provide the cum and rum with Dr Dro providing the Goodie Weed combine that with the sugar rush from the ice caps and they will be in the running for an up and down season. Pediction: In a statement from the city of St. Johns they said the Ice in the Arena will be poop brown and made of ice caps . The Ice caps will be to icy to start the season and will fired everyone in Tim hortons by Week 4. Tim Hortons will shut down all over if the ice caps fail to make the playoffs.This is where Oven Mitts will take the team and renamed them the St. John Smoothies and these Smoothies will be champs in S19.

FWD- B
DEF- B-
Goalie- B
Players to watch - Oven Mitts will look to buy the team from Tim Hortons open a smoothie business and change the name and the culture of this team

 

Enjoyable write up look forward to more.

 

Will soupersaiyan play the whole season?

 

Nice writeup Trim looking forward to more .woostah better get some love

 

ash cannons haha thats so great. my new player name thx

 

Can you type? Gay fork is a underated goalie? Max well is two words? UH I POOP whos that? Lol

Its like tnoose all over.

 

Would you like to be my typer?

 

Im currently in the midst of my power rankings lol.

 

YAY!!!! more stuff to read

 

You forgot Norfolk in your top 3

 

omg me too!!!!

 

I dont know you, but I love you too!! <3

 

Exclusive footage of [MENTION=7864]Craig B x91[/MENTION] during last season's cup run.




Now you guys know why he is more cut out for the AHL level.

 

Since there's like 3 people doing power rankings maybe team up and get that shit done faster and better?

 

Keep em coming man, good stuff .

 

I ate some bad Chinese before that game, don't judge me.

 

" Your probably thinking does Manchester even know hockey"

literally no one was wondering that

 

Did you really base your scouting of Rapala off 1 game? When we started playing with Rapala he wasn't amazing at first. It took some time for him to get comfortable, like with most players who are scouting. Thanks for the compliment, we know we're a cute ass couple that's why we keep coming back!

 

lol trying to have fun

 

The real question is Tranny ever going to give me & Cullen the case of snackpacks.....